Cousins
by mazhelle
Summary: How would Bella and Edward deal with life when they fell in love with each other knowing that, as cousins, they're forbidden to be with one another? Is their love pure and strong enough to go against what everyone considers a taboo? ExB BxJ Adult Theme
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**Important Author's Note:**

**Incest is a very sensitive subject to a lot of people. As a catholic, I was always taught that incest is taboo. I don't condone incest at all regardless of the plot of my story. I expect, for some reason, to get thrashed by a lot of readers that would probably hate this plot and my writing and get bad reviews for it. It's ok, we live in America after all and we all have the rights to speak out. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, this story wasn't written to disrespect anyone whatsoever. It's just simply an idea that came to me. **

**This particular story has it's own original characters, however, I decided to re-write it using the Twilight characters to serve as a test run on my story. **

**Thank you.**

**Chapter 1 - Reacquainted**

**BPOV**

"Bella, hurry up! We have to be at the airport in 2 hours!" Renee hollered through the intercom in my room.

"I'll be down in a sec!" I pressed the button on the annoying box against the wall and responded.

My mom has been frantically running around the house trying to prepare for her sister and my cousin's arrival from New York.

Two months ago Renee and Charlie decided to move to New York to be closer to Renee's sister, Esme, her husband, Carlisle and their son, Edward. Now Esme and Edward are on their way to Forks to travel with us and help us with the big move to New York.

Throughout the years I must have only seen Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle approximately about five times but the last time I saw Edward was 11 years ago back when we were only five when they still used to live in Forks.

In spite of the distance and lack of communication, or none at all we've had over the years, the memories of our childhood together were still clear in my mind.

We had sort of a love-hate relationship and we used to fight a lot, Edward and I. Edward was a bully and bossy even as a little boy, and he had a habit of pulling my hair just to make me cry which was his way of showing me affection. The funny thing was, in spite of his arrogance, he always protected and took care of me in his own way. And even then, I always felt a strong bond between us.

_I remember when we were four, Edward and I were playing in the Cullen's backyard which stretched out to the forest. I wanted to play in the tree house that Charlie and Carlisle built for us and was hauling a bunch of mine and Edward's toys with our Radio Flyer wagon to bring up to the treehouse. When we got to the tree where the treehouse was located, Edward and I climbed up carefully with him following behind me. I wanted to decorate the treehouse to make it cozy and Edward instructed me to stay in the treehouse while he climbed back down to get our toys. Once all the toys were brought up and we had the treehouse fully decorated to our liking, I got an idea and turned to Edward._

"_Eddie, you want to play house? I'll be mommy and you'll be the daddy, ok?" I said hopeful that he would play along._

"_Sure, Bells. Sounds like fun!" He responded with a huge grin on his little face._

_Just then Edward's neighbor, Mikey, decided to join us. Once Mikey was up in the treehouse with us he looked around and asked, "Whatcha' doing?" _

"_We're playing house and I'm the mommy and Edward is the daddy." I said_

"_But I want to be the daddy, Bella!" Mikey responded heatedly and glaring at Edward who had a smug look on his face._

"_Nuh-uh, she want's me to be the daddy. So I'm the daddy." Edward retaliated just as he started to step in between me and Mike._

"_Edward, you can't be the daddy! You two are cuuzins!" Mike argued._

_Edward frowned and said, "So what?!? I can still be the daddy and it's better me than you!"_

_I cleared my throat to get their attention as I could tell they were about to get into a fight. I got in between them and took turns looking at both of them._

"_We don't have to play house. We can play something else, ok?" I said hoping we could come into a compromise._

"_No! I want to play house and I want to be the daddy!" Edward said as he to pulled me roughly to him. Because of my clumsiness, I ended up losing my balance and fell face first on the wooden floor but not before I hit my head on the small plastic table next to me._

_I shrieked and next thing I knew I was sprawled on the floor sobbing loudly and whimpering with tears streaming down my face clutching my head. _

"_Oh Bella!" Edward panicked and knelt down to help me up, "I'm so-s-s-sorry! I didn't mean it. I promise!" _

_But before Edward could help me up, Mike shoved Edward away from me and pulled me to his lap to try to comfort me._

"_Sshh, it's ok Bells. Don't cry anymore. You want me to punch him for you?" Mikey said as he rocked me back and forth._

"_Mike, I want to hold Bella. Get away from her! She's mine!" Edward sat in front of me and Mike as he tried to pry me off of Mike and failing miserably._

_I looked at Mike with teary eyes and gave him a small smile and turned to look at Edward. His tiny arms held out to me. His eyes pleading for me to go to him. I crawled out of Mikey's lap and onto Edward's lap and looked at his face with a faint smile on my face._

"_I'm really sorry, Bella. I really didn't mean it." Edward pleaded as he took me in his little arms._

"_It's ok, Edward. I'm ok. I forgive you." I reassured him. _

"_Hhmph!" Mike grunted and crossed his tiny arms across his chest glaring at Edward._

_Edward pulled me closer to him and held me while brushing my hair away from my face looking at Mike smugly._

"_I'm really sorry, Bellie. I didn't mean to hurt you." Edward said softly and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek._

"_We can just play something else and you and Mikey can be my brothers instead of daddy, ok?" I said hoping to stop what started this mess in the first place._

_Edward looked dejected and eyed me with a frown, "But I really want to be the daddy and you the mommy, Bella, pwweaase. Just like when you and me get married when we grow up."_

_I furrowed my brow and looked at him. "But Edward, we can't get married silly! We're cuuzins, remember? You're like my brother or something." I giggled._

_Mike started laughing and decided to pull me back to his lap but Edward wouldn't give, holding me even tighter and slightly turning our bodies away from Mike._

"_Hey!" Edward glared at Mike for trying to steal me away from his lap._

"_We can to, Bellie! I want to marry you when we're old and 13!" Edward said determinedly and looking into my teary eyes._

"_No she won't because she will marry me first!" Mike decided to interject._

_I decided then that this had to stop. I didn't want to get married when I turn 13! Boys have cooties and I don't want to get cooties. I don't want to marry Edward because he's a meany sometimes and I don't want to marry Mikey either because he's Mikey and he has more cooties than Edward!_

_I stood up and looked down at both of them. "I don't want to get married and you can't make me!" I yelled at both of them and turned away to leave._

_I started to climb down the tree to get away from Edward and Mike. Just as I was about to reach the ground, I heard the boys yelling at each other._

"_You see what you did, Edward?!?"_

"_Me?!? It's your fault! Who invited you anyways?!?"_

_They were still yelling at each other with their voices fading away in the background as I ran back to the house._

_Aunt Esme was in the kitchen when I walked in through the patio doors. She gave me a quick glance and noticed my appearance._

"_What happened, sweetheart?" She came up to me and knelt down in front of me so that we were face to face._

"_Edward said I have to marry him when I turn 13. And Mikey said Edward can't because he will marry me instead," I said trying to rush out the words in panic, "but I don't want to get married, Aunt Esme. They have cooties!" I looked at her with pleading eyes._

_She giggled. "Oh honey, don't worry about that at all. It won't and can't happen because Edward is your cousin." She said reassuringly. "But you can marry any other nice boy when you're all grown up and when you're ready." She gave me a peck on the cheek and went back to whatever it was that she was doing on the kitchen counter._

"_Ok." I sighed and said in a small voice looking down at my feet._

When it was finally decided that we were moving to New York, I was ecstatic! I've lived in Forks practically my whole life and the thought of moving to a big city was something I've always dreamt of doing when I got older. Unfortunately, living in New York also meant living close to Edward. Ugh! I can't stand him sometimes. Even just the mere thought of being in the same room with him made my stomach turn. I have been looking forward to our move to New York but I can't help but feel torn about having to see Edward on a regular basis. From what I've learned, he hasn't changed much. Edward is still arrogant and self-centered who thinks he's god's gift to women.

I took a last glance at the mirror, feeling satisfied, I headed downstairs. Renee was waiting by the front door with her hands on her hips and impatiently tapping her left foot.

"Finally!" she said exasperatedly.

"Let's go, mom." I said with a sigh, holding the urge to roll my eyes.

Our drive to SeaTac was uneventful. Renee kept blabbering about her plans and the parties that she will be attending and throwing once we settle in NY and I found myself just tuning her out and watching the blur of trees on my side of the window.

I was still lost in my thoughts when we finally pulled up at the airport parking lot.

The airport monitor announced the arrival of their flight and I can't help the knots tightening in my stomach. _Why am I so nervous? It's not like we're still five and I don't expect him to pull my hair just to make me cry like he used to_. _So what the hell is wrong with me?!? We're 16 now for crying out loud! _

Next thing I knew, Renee was bouncing up and down next to me and waving her arms frantically towards the escalator. My mom only acted this way when it came to Aunt Esme, it almost made her _likeable. _Almost. Travelers were making their way down the escalator to meet friends and families. Then I felt someone watching me. When I looked up I saw a tall, bronze-haired boy with the most beautiful grayish-blue eyes just staring intensely at me. My heart felt like it wanted to jump out of my chest. He was beautiful with strong chiseled jaws and a body that looked like he just came out of an Abercombie photo shoot. His bronze hair was a crown of mess but it totally worked for him giving him that boy-next-door look.

I was pulled out of my trance as Renee started dragging me towards the direction of the bronze-haired boy. "Esme!" Renee squealed out and pulled my aunt into a tight hug who was standing right next to Mr. A&F model-look-alike. I realized then who this bronze-haired boy was. _No frikking way!_

"Bella dear, how are you?" Esme gave me a hug next.

"I'm good, Aunt Esme." I responded with a warm smile and feeling self conscious from Edward's gaze.

"Edward!" Renee turned to hug him.

"Hi, Aunt Renee." Edward responded with a dazzling smile returning the hug.

"How are you, sweetheart?" Renee asked.

"I'm good, Aunt Renee. It's nice to see you." Edward responded.

Then Renee turned to me and said, "You remember your cousin Bella, right?".

"Of course." Edward said with a warm smile turning to me and giving me a tight hug.

"Hi, Edward." I said with a smile.

"How have you been, Bella?" Edward said next, looking into my eyes and giving me a crooked smile.

_Whoa!_

My breath hitched and my stomach couldn't decide whether it wanted to do flip flops or run to the bathroom and pee.

"F-f-fine." Was all I could stammer out feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks.

_Really funny, God! He's my cousin!_

He then came up to me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. "I can see you haven't changed one bit. Only.. _more beautiful_. And still blushing." Edward whispered softly in my ear so only I could hear.

When he finally pulled back, I slowly let out the breath that I didn't realize I was holding and gave him a faint smile and looked away.

"Let's go kids." Renee said as we headed to the baggage claim.

On our drive home, I sat in the back seat with Edward. We chatted on and off while in between silence I felt him constantly watching me.I found myself trying to avoid from looking at Edward unless he spoke to me. The air between us was thick and awkward. I didn't know what to make of it and I was starting to feel really uncomfortable.

We pulled up to my long driveway an hour and a half later.

Once we were all settled inside, Renee and Esme decided to make a feast for dinner while Edward and I hung out by the pool in my backyard. It's now June and the weather in Forks is warm. It's the only time of the year that we get some sun and I try to enjoy the nice weather as much as I can.

Edward and I were sitting by the lounge chairs and just reacquainting ourselves with each other. After a few minutes, Edward stood up and asked if I wanted a drink, "Iced tea, please", I said smiling up at him.

Within minutes, he was back with drinks in his hands.

"So…" Edward said as he handed me my iced tea with a mischievous smile ghosting his lips, "what do you do around here for fun?"

"Not much really." I said. "There's some bars and an under-age club by Port Angeles which is about 45 miles away from Forks.

"Maybe we can hit the club one night before we all leave for NY?" Edward said.

"Sure, why not." I responded.

"So.. Bella.. do you have a boyfriend?" Edward asked.

I looked at him and found him staring at me. My heart skipped a beat and I found myself staring into his gorgeous eyes.

"Umm.. no. Not right now." I said barely a whisper trying to look anywhere but his face.

I was dating this boy, Gabriel, from school but decided to end it before the school was over. I figured since I'm moving to NY there's really no point of keeping the relationship. Long distance relationship just don't work for me.

He smiled his crooked smile and said, "Good. I wouldn't want to have to deal with swatting some flies away from you, if you know what I mean?"

I furrowed my brows slightly at his comment. "What do you mean?" I said, "I don't need a bodyguard. I can take care of myself and I have been for the past 11 years."

"Ahh, true, but now that we'll be living close to each other and seeing each other all the time, I'm afraid I will not be able to help myself from protecting my beautiful cousin from some assholes who would probably only want one thing. It comes in territory." He said in a serious tone but with a devilish grin.

"Whatever, Edward." I said looking at my hands that was resting on my lap.

"Just remember, Bella, from now on, I will be watching out for you." He said as he took my right hand and held it. "You're too beautiful and precious for me to be taken advantage of by some asshole. Men in NY are a lot more aggressive and they love sweet and innocent girls like you. Trust me."

The thought of seeing Edward regularly and us living close to each other suddenly made me giddy. However, I didn't know if I should feel excited or annoyed with the thought of him hovering over me.

"Are you always this protective of your female relatives?" I asked curious.

"No, I can honestly say that I'm not. I am, however, protective and possessive of those whom I care about." He said. "You, Bella, is special. I know we haven't seen each other for a few years. But I've always felt protective of you even when we were children. I've always been drawn to you. I've missed you." He said the last words in a whisper as he held my gaze.

I felt my cheeks getting hot and through my periphery I saw his left hand making it's way to my cheek to caress it with the back of his fingers.

I raised my head slowly to look at him. "Beautiful." He sighed to himself that I almost didn't hear it.

Suddenly he clapped his hands together as if he just thought of something brilliant. "How about a swim?" Edward asked with a mischievous smile.

"Sure, why not. But you go ahead. I'll follow in a bit." I said to as he got up and headed back to the house to change into his swimwear.

I'm not sure if I can be near Edward in just my bikinis just yet. He's acting really strange and I'm not sure what to make of it. _He's my cousin. He's my cousin. He's my cousin. _I found myself repeating these words over and over again in my head. Maybe it's just my imagination. There's no way Edward would be attracted to me. Not only because we're cousins but just because… well, look at me! I'm me! Plain old Bella. Why would anyone like Edward even pay attention to someone like me? I let out sigh. But he's Edward and he's so beautiful. I can't help but wonder how things would have been like if we weren't related. Would he even bother looking my way?

Life is so unfair. Of all people in the world, I have to be attracted to my cousin. I tried to convince myself that it's just nerves. The move to a new city and reacquainting with my long lost relative is just doing a number on me. There's just so much going on and I'm sure it will dissipate once I'm settled in my new home. All these excitement is causing me to think irrationally.

I decided to join Edward for a swim and change into my bikini. I went back to the house and up to my room. I put on my black 2 piece string Chloe bikini that says "Chloe" in silver bold print on the back of my bikini bottom. It's one of my favorite swimwear. I put my hair up in a ponytail, grabbed my black flip-flops and Gucci beach towel and headed back downstairs. I stopped by the kitchen first on my way to the backyard to see how Renee and Esme were doing with dinner.

"You ladies need some help?" I asked as I stood behind our huge granite counter watching my mom and aunt giggling to themselves, no doubt in their own little world.

Renee and Esme have always been close in spite of being polar opposites. Esme is very warm, approachable and motherly while Renee can be such a snob and unapproachable. My mother's side of the family was well off and both Renee and Esme were left with an abundance amount of money inherited from my grandparents when they passed away. Neither Esme, Renee, Edward nor I will have to work as long as we live if we chose to and there will still be plenty of money to go around for the next generation and the generations to come there after. Unfortunately, having money has given Renee an intolerable personality. Her _social status_ is by far and foremost her priority, second to me and Charlie that is. My mother knows she got it and often enough, she flaunts it. Her money talks for her.

Coming from a wealthy family, I resentfully always have to maintain a good public image either in school or social gatherings. It's a lifestyle that I never got used to and can't wait to leave behind once I'm on my own and away for college.

"No, honey. Go ahead and hang out with your cousin and enjoy. We should be done shortly. We'll call you kids when food is ready". Renee said with a grin.

"Ok, mom."

Edward was waiting for me in the pool when I came out. When I stepped out of the patio door, Edward turned to look at me. His eyes wide as saucers while he slowly looked me over from head to toe. He swam to the edge of the pool never taking his eyes off me as if he was under a spell.

"Why don't you take a picture? It will last longer." I said as I felt myself blushing.

I suddenly had the urge to take my towel and wrap it around my body tightly. His gaze was truly making me feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Then Edward cleared his throat and said, "It's just… uhmm, well, are you coming to join me?" He smiled devilishly.

I stood up and walked towards the deep end of the pool. I could feel his eyes following my every move. Edward's eyes has turned a darker shade, it's now a more grayish color and I couldn't make out the expression on his face.

I dove into the deep end and swam across to the other end of the pool ignoring my idiotic teenage-hormonal cousin. I consider myself a good swimmer. I was in the swim team in my school and because of my clumsiness, I took pride for being a graceful and fast swimmer. I swam 5 laps across the pool and almost forgot about my audience. Almost.

When I was done with my laps, I swam towards Edward with a smug look on my face.

Edward was still just staring at me in awe.

"Edward, are you ok?" I asked amused.

"Uhh..yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking." He said as he furrowed his brows slightly.

"That's pretty impressive, Bella". Edward finally said, unleashing his signature crooked smile. _What's up with that smile?_ I wonder if he even knew what that smile did to the women he uses it on? I'm beginning to debate if I want to slap it off his face or take my panties off whenever he unleashed that crooked smile on me. It's like a spell and I was getting irritated with how I reacted to it.

"Uhm, thanks, I'm in the swim team in school. It's the only athletic sport I am good at." I said smiling coyly.

"Kids, dinner is ready!" Esme popped her head out of the patio doors.

We got out of the pool and just before I could grab my towel, Edward picked it up, came up behind me and wrapped it around my shoulders. I felt his warm breath as his lips brushed the soft hollow behind my ear and whispered, "You truly are beautiful, Bella."

I shivered and my heart started to race erratically.

Edward then turned to me and held out his right hand for me to grab. "Lets go, Bella." He took my left hand and lead me back inside the house. _Really now. What is going on?!? _

Once inside, I went upstairs to my room to put on a pair of my distressed cut-off denim shorts and a black camisole. I gave myself a few minutes to calm my heart before heading back downstairs.

I ended up sitting across from Edward. Charlie finally came home right before we all sat down for dinner greeting Edward and Esme.

"It's too bad Carlisle couldn't make it." Charlie started the conversation with Esme.

"He's really busy in the hospital and unfortunately, one of his colleague is also on vacation so it just wasn't possible for him to take the time off at this time." Esme responded sadly.

Edward stiffened at the mention of his dad but kept a blank expression on his face.

The adults fell in their own world conversing about our move while Edward and I ate our dinner in silence and remained deep in our thoughts. Every once in a while I would feel Edward watching me and I did my best to ignore him. When dinner was over, I took it upon myself to help and wash the dirty dishes while Charlie, Renee and Esme went to the living room to chat and watch some TV. Usually we have a maid to do the chores, but Renee decided to give her a day off today wanting to just spend some quality time in the kitchen with Esme.

"I'll help you, Bella." Edward offered.

I pre-rinsed the dirty dishes in the sink while Edward placed them in the dishwasher. All the while Edward telling silly jokes causing a fit of giggles from me resulting for our chore to take longer to finish. Every so often I would turn to look at Edward only to find him watching me which made me very self-conscious. We were just about done with the dishes when Edward reached out to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. I looked up to find gazing at me, his eyes intense and a faint smile ghosting his lips.

Suddenly I felt my cell vibrated in my pocket. The caller ID read _Gabriel Calling._

"Hi, Gabe." I greeted.

"_Hey, babe. I was just wondering what you're up to? I really miss you_." Gabriel responded, his voice had a hint of sadness to it.

I looked at Edward only to find him watching me as he sat on the bar stool. His brows knitted together and fists clenched in front of him on the kitchen counter.

I turned away from him as I spoke to Gabriel. "Oh, nothing much. My cousin and my aunt are here from NY. They're helping us with the move and will be traveling with us back to NY."

"_So I guess you can't come out and play, huh? I was just hoping we can hang out before you leave. I was hoping you would spend the rest of your days here in Forks with me before you leave." _

I sighed. I love Gabriel. He's my bestfriend and he had been my boyfriend since we were freshman. Things between Gabriel and I have been difficult since our family decided to move. Gabriel has taken things even harder when I decided to break up with him. However, I didn't feel it would be fair to either one of us knowing how difficult it is to be in a long distance relationship. I just couldn't do that to Gabe, as hard as it was for me, I wanted him to move on.

"Ok, Gabe, I'll see what I can do, ok? We'll try to spend time as much as we can before I leave. But the next couple of days might be difficult, however, as soon as my schedule is free, I'll call you." I said with a smile.

"_Great! That's all I ask." _He sounded a lot happier, "_I'll see you in a couple of days, sweetheart. I love you."_

"Love you too. See you soon" I said as I got off my phone.

When I turned back to Edward he looked angry and deep in thought.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, placing my hand on his arm.

Edward just looked at me, "I thought you didn't have a boyfriend?" He said through clenched teeth.

"I-uhm, I don't. We broke up. I can't handle long distance relationships." I said quietly unsure of why I suddenly felt as if I did something wrong.

"So, what does he fucking want? And what's with the 'I love you' bit?" Edward responded still looking like he was about to hit something.

"Edward, Gabe is my bestfriend and I do still love him. It doesn't mean because I broke up with him I can't stay friends with him. What's wrong with you?" I asked now getting annoyed with the interrogation. It's almost as if he was jealous.

Edward got up from the stool and stood in front of me. "I'm sorry, love." His hands came up to caress my cheek as he slowly moved closer so that our nose were almost touching.

"I just can't stand the thought of someone else having you." Edward whispered as he closed his eyes and sighed.

I was dumbfounded. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.

Then he smiled and said, "Bella, I will finish the dishes. You should go and get ready for bed. I'm hoping you can take me on a tour of Forks tomorrow and I want to leave early."

I hesitantly smiled back, "Uhm, ok." I said in a small voice and turned and walked towards the stairs.

When I was finally alone in my room I couldn't help but go over the series of events that happened today. Edward's behavior has left me utterly confused. I found myself warring over his unusual and seemingly inappropriate behavior. Yet the other part of me kept telling me, "_It's nothing, it's harmless. It's all in your head. It's just like when you were five." _But that's just it, we were only five then so it was all innocent. But this time we're both 16, almost 17, so Edward's strange and inappropriate behavior towards me could only be either harmful or harmless to both of us.

I sighed and walked to my dresser and got my favorite navy blue 'boyfriend' sweat pants from Victoria's Secret and a white tank top. I grabbed my toiletries and headed to my bathroom. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and went back to my room. I wasn't tired or sleepy yet and being that it was such a nice breezy summer night, I decided to leave my balcony doors open and do some reading in my bed. I was just halfway through the 1st chapter of my book when I heard a soft knock on my door. Before I could respond, my door opened slightly and Edward poked his head in.

"Bella, can I come in?" Edward asked.

"Sure, Edward, come on in." I said as I sat up and leaned against my headboard.

"What's up?" I asked.

He sat on the edge of my bed looking at me. "Nothing much. Just wanted to see you before you go to bed." He said with a smile.

"What are you reading?" He asked curious. His eyebrow lifted as he looked at my book.

"Jack and Josie." I said all of a sudden feeling the blood creeping up to my cheeks. Of all the books that I had to be reading right at that moment, it had to be a book about incest. _Stupid Bella._

"Pretty good book, I liked the plot. It's actually one of my favorite." He responded enjoying my discomfort. "So, how do you like it?" He asked.

"Uhh, I-ah, I like it so far. Although, I just started reading it and I'm really curious with how it'll all turn out for the characters."

"Hhmm, so what do you think of incest?" He asked looking at me intently.

I suddenly shivered, my hands and toes started to feel cold. I now regretted wearing just a tank top and wishing I wore a thick wool turtle neck sweater instead.

"E-e-excuse me?" I asked trying not to sound nervous but failing miserably.

"You know, incest, an intimate relationship between close relatives?" He said with a serious tone not breaking eye contact with me.

I looked down at my lap, caressing the flower print on the cover of my book. "I know what incest mean." I said softly. "I-I'm not sure. I mean, there's always a reason why incest happens between 2 people. It's certainly not normal but it happens." I answered looking back up at him.

He smiled that crooked smile again and just studied my face before responding.

"To most, incest is bad, out of the norm and forbidden. It's a taboo really in most societies. However, we can't stop who our heart calls to. Unfortunately, the more we pull away from something or someone we're not allowed to have, the stronger the _that desire _calls to us. Don't you agree?"

I furrowed by brows and said, "I understand what you're saying. A-a-about our heart not choosing who it wants to love, I mean. But unfortunately, to most of us, incest is not something that's acceptable. I do sympathize with those who are in those complicated relationships and situations though, unless of course it's only out of pure sex which is sick. But loving someone you're not allowed to or supposed to in an intimate way due to their relation must be devastating and difficult. "

He took my hand and started to draw soft circles on my palm with his thumb. "Bella", he whispered, "sometimes even all the pain in the world is worth it if only to be with the person that is meant for you. Regardless. Who. It. Is." He said in a whisper as he stared intently into my eyes. My breath hitched. His eyes full of emotions.

_This can't be happening. Edward can't be implying something. This is so wrong. __He's my cousin... What would Renee, Esme, Carlisle and Charlie think?!? What would Renee do if she found out?!? Why is this happening? Is it me? Am I doing something to provoke this? __What have I done?_ I need to stop this. I need to figure out why this is happening and if I'm causing all these inappropriate behavior. I have to be the most horrible person to be sending off some kind of inappropriate signals to my own cousin. _My own cousin! God, I don't want to go to hell.._Why else would he be acting this way towards me? I could only assume I did something to provoke it. _A-ha! __It's because I kept staring at him with goo-goo eyes, isn't it?!? That had to be it! Stupid, stupid Bella! You've done it now. I think I'm going to be sick.._

Edward slowly moved closer to me. I froze. "E-e-Edward..wha-" I said softly but I couldn't continue. His closeness overwhelmed me as his lips brushed my forehead like butterfly wings and made it's way slowly down to my jaw. I closed my eyes. My heart beating frantically against my chest. Then he pulled back slowly but stood only inches away from my face. His eyes sad but full of love as he stared at me. "Bella", he whispered ever so softly, "I want to be close to you." He sighed. His sweet warm breath blowing on my face. "I-I just want to be close to you. Please let me," he said still in a whisper, "I will never do anything to hurt you. I can't explain what's happening. But whatever it is, I can't stop it even if I wanted to." He closed his eyes as if willing me to feel what he's feeling.

I stayed quiet for a moment just studying his face. I wanted to reach up and caress his cheek, run my thumb across his eyes lids and his lips. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and comfort him. I wanted so much answers for a thousand questions that are now running through my mind. But most of all, I wanted to ask him if I was right about what he's feeling towards me? But I couldn't. I was terrified to know the answer to that most important question.

"I'm scared, Edward. I'm not sure of what. But I'm terrified of these unknown feelings that seem to be lingering between us. It just doesn't seem right." It was all I could say without crossing the line between heaven and hell. I couldn't say more because I couldn't accept anymore than what I was ready for at that moment.

"Don't be, love. It will work itself out in the end. I won't hurt you. Just, please, don't push me away." He then kissed me on the cheek softly.

"I should let you go to bed now." He said.

"Goodnight, my sweet innocent Bella".

"Goodnight, Edward".

He walked to my door and closed the door behind him with a soft click.

I found myself letting out the breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I suddenly felt a headache coming on. My legs will not hold me up if I get up to get some Tylenol so I decided to calm myself down and wait it out. Hopefully it will go away by the time I fall asleep.

I sat on my bed dumbfounded. It must have taken me 20 minutes to finally calm down and start to think coherently. My thoughts were all over the place.

One thing I know for sure, my move to NY will turn my world upside down.

I stared at my book for a few more minutes just shaking my head slowly from side to side as if willing myself to believe that all of what had just happened was only a dream.

There's so much emotions inside me that wants to burst out. Shock, happiness, confusion, fear and love. Thinking about this situation terrifies me. I can't deny that I am attracted to Edward. There's such a strong pull that draws me to him as well. But I'm terrified that we both will get hurt in the end. How will this work out for both of us? And how far will we be willing to go?

I lay down on my pillow, put my book on my bedside table and prepared myself for a dreamless sleep. I suddenly felt so tired as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

I found myself finally drifting off to sleep with only one thing in mind.

Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter includes BPOV and EPOV. Edward's personality is a lot lighter and fun in this story. He is also somewhat of a bad boy and a risk taker than the usual Edward that we've come to know and love. Bella on the other hand has a good head on her shoulders and tries to do the right thing, though young and still innocent in a lot of ways. She has been living a somewhat sheltered life and more reluctant in taking risks than Edward so it would be a lot more difficult for her to just go along with the _flow _unlike Edward****. **

**I have also created a playlist for Cousins and will be adding songs to the playlist as I go along with the story. You can view the playlist and play it directly by going to the link below.**

**www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/17472572427/standalone**

**Playlists on this chapter: **

**Obsession - ATB**

**You and Me - Lifehouse**

**I Don't Wanna Stop - ATB**

**Look After You - The Fray**

* * *

**Chapter 2 - What makes right wrong?**

**BPOV**

I woke up to our maid, Maria, placing my orange juice on my nightstand. Every morning I woke up to the same routine. Maria bringing me up a glass of orange juice and to let me know that breakfast was ready. Today is no different. I really couldn't careless about having a maid in the house. But Renee, being Renee, wouldn't know what to do with herself without someone following her around even if only to pick up after herself. Maria has been with us since I was 3. She's like a second mother to me and it was she who I would run to for a shoulder to cry on whenever Renee would force me to dress up and attend parties or social gatherings or whenever Renee was being Renee. I really hated those social gatherings and parties. Meeting and talking to a bunch of high and mighty snobs is not something I enjoyed doing. In fact, I would rather stand a fork being scraped on a blackboard than be in the same room with those social hypocrites. But not Renee, she thrives to be in the middle of said gathering. In fact, she's usually the belle of such gatherings.

In any case, I do love Maria. She's just one of the few benefits I'm glad to have for being a rich kid. And I'm really happy she's coming with us to NY.

"Good morning, Maria." I greeted her with my morning croaky voice.

"Good morning, Bellie. How was your evening, honey?" She asked with a warm smile. She reminds me of a much quieter and more loving version of Ethel from I Love Lucy.

"It was..eventful.." I said quietly with a frown.

"I gather you and Edward are at it again?" She responded with a chuckle.

"Ehh, kinda. I don't know. He's just being weird." I said as I got up from bed.

"Is that cuzin' of yours still teasing you?" She asked as she gathered up my dirty laundry.

"No, not really. Like I said, he's just being weird." I slowly made my way to my walk-in closet to get change of clothes for the day.

"Nevermind, Maria. It's just stupid." I called out from my closet.

"Ha, if I didn't know that boy any better, I'd say he's in love with you. And he was only five then. It's just too bad you's two are related." She responded chuckling to herself.

"Yuk! Maria! Stop that." I said as I walked out of my closet with a pair of hang-low distressed faded jeans, a cream vintage style spaghetti strap camisole with faded yellow flower prints and a moss green vintage style zip up sweater.

"He's just being Edward again." I said before heading to my bathroom.

"Ok, honey, whatever you say. Anyway, breakfast is ready when you're done." She said as she started to make my bed.

"Thanks, Maria." I said and closed the door in my bathroom.

I sighed as I got out of my sleepwear. I turned on the water in my shower and stepped in when the water felt just right. As I stood under the shower, I couldn't help but think back to what Maria said. _She thinks Edward was in love with me?? _She must be crazy. And really, that's just crazy. We're talking about Edward here. He's rich, beautiful, smart and perfect in every way. Well, except when he's not being annoying and arrogant. Other than that, he's perfect. I can just imagine all the women throwing themselves at him. So why in the hell would he be in love with me?!? That just doesn't make any sense. Not to mention that he's my cousin. _Hello?_ And if he's smart enough to be considered a musical prodigy then I'm sure he's smart enough to know that hooking up with your own cousin is just all wrong. Maybe if I just keep telling myself that I'll believe it eventually. The thing is as much as I deny whatever it is that's going on between us, I can't. I thought back to my conversation last night with Edward and his words kept running through my head...

"_I just can't stand the thought of someone else having you."_

_"I want to be close to you."_

What does that even mean? _Close_? How _close_?!? The question is do I want to be _close_ to him? Can I allow this to happen knowing that Renee would kill me and probably disown me if I even do anything remote to taint the image of this family that she's trying so much to uphold. And if I do allow Edward to get _close _to me, what would that even mean for us?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I ended up shampooing my hair twice. Ugh!

After rinsing my hair and washing my body, I stepped out of the shower, dried my hair and wrapped another towel around my body. I brushed my teeth, applied a light make up and put on my clothes. I brushed my long wavy hair, let it air dry and put on my cream colored crocheted summer beanie. I rather like the effect of my hair air-dried as it brought out my natural waves and curls. I also like the messy look rather than having it all combed out.

I put on my brown gladiator sandals and gathered up my sling bag making sure that my wallet, keys and cell phone were in it and headed down to the kitchen.

Esme, Renee and Edward were already on the table having breakfast. Edward looked at me and grinned as soon as I walked in.

"Good morning, Bells." He said as he as his eyes slowly looked me over from head to toe and went back to eating his pancakes.

I nodded to him with a smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Esme said as I gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Morning, Aunt Esme." I said.

"Mom." I greeted Renee and sat down across from Edward.

"So what are you two kids doing today?" She asked as she chewed on her bacon.

I took some scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage and put it on my plate. "I think I'm just going to take Edward to Port Book in Port Angeles and just take him around." I said, "unless you have something else you'd like to do, Edward?" I asked as I turned to look at him.

"Not really. Port Angeles sounds like fun. It's been years since I was there last and I really don't remember much about the area." He said smiling back at me.

"Ok, well, the packers will be here at noon and your Aunt Esme and I will be home to make sure that the packing goes smoothly." Renee said.

"Mom, do you need me to do anything?" I asked.

"No, hon, it'll be all taken cared off. The movers will be here tomorrow to pick up the big furniture and such. There's really nothing much to do. Besides, Maria is here if I need any thing else done." She responded.

"Ok." I said as I finished my breakfast and drank down my orange juice.

Edward also finished up his breakfast and asked if I was ready to go.

"We'll see you guys later." I said as I took my purse and headed to the garage.

"Oh, Bella," Renee called out to me, "Gabriel called earlier, by the way. He said he tried calling you but you didn't pick up your cell. He said to call him."

"Oh, ok. Thanks, mom."

Edward stiffened at the mention of Gabriel's name but remained quiet. I lead him to the garage towards my brand new indigo blue BMW M5 that Renee just recently bought me as an advance birthday gift. I don't know or care much about cars but I definitely love mine.

"Niiccee." Edward said as he opened the passenger side to get in.

"Thanks. It's Renee's latest birthday gift."

"My aunt definitely has good taste." He said shaking his head with a smirk, "I actually might just get one for myself when we get back to NY, what do you think? This way, we'll have his and hers." He said as he winked at me.

I chuckled. "Whatever turns you on, Edward." I said teasingly. _Oh shit!_ Why the hell did I just say that?

Edward turned to look at me then, his back now leaning against the door. "I definitely know what turns me on.." he said in a velvety seductive voice as he looked deep into my eyes.

I suddenly felt nervous, my heart started to race and my hands suddenly felt cold and sweaty. I wasn't ready to tackle this complicated topic just yet. I tried to ignore him the best I could and act normal. I opened the garage door, drove out of the garage slowly and headed out of our long driveway to the main road.

"You got awfully quiet, my Bellie. Cat got your tongue, love?" Edward teased and smiling his mischievous smile.

"Funny, Edward." I said as I turned onto the main road trying to remain calm and hoped I was doing a good job.

"So.." He started to say, "..what does turn you on, Bella?" Edward asked smiling devilishly.

I gave him a '_are you kidding me?' _look and turned back to concentrate on the road, gripping the stirring wheel so tight my hands were turning white.

"I'm waiting.." He egged on teasingly when I didn't say anything.

"Are you serious, Edward?" I said, "You're really asking your own cousin what turns her on? Isn't that just a little inappropriate?"

He's just getting really ridiculously forward and I'm not sure how much longer I can play his game. The last thing I want to do was make a fool of myself and believe that Edward was having inappropriate feelings for me. Then I would look really stupid not to mention he would probably laugh at my face for thinking ridiculous thoughts about us and for taking him seriously. All this tension can't be doing anything good for my stomach as the knots were tightening up it was starting to give me stomach pains.

_God if only he's not my cousin!_

The thing is, the more I pull away, the more he kept charging and the more he seem to try to get close. It's as if he's testing my resolve to try to get a response from me.

"Why not? It's no big deal. I just want to get to know you." He replied with a smirk.

"Well, my 'turn ons' is not exactly one of the things I usually include in my usual 'get to know Bella' topics." I said amused.

"Ok, fine. For now. I'll find out soon enough." He winked and said teasingly.

Our drive to Port Angeles was uneventful aside from Edward's light teasing and ridiculous questions in trying to get to know me. On the other hand, he did talk about himself and his life in NY and what I should be expecting when I move there.

I found out that he has a bestfriend named Jasper who he has been friends with since he was 6 when he first moved to NY. He told me about his piano performances and the music summer camps he attended every year during summer break. He mentioned that he's planning to attend Juilliard for college to pursue a career in music either as a concert pianist or a composer. A career choice that Carlisle wasn't too happy about. I also found out about his recent break up with his long time girlfriend named Tanya who until now is still trying to pursue him and get back with him.

Before he can continue about his relationship with Tanya, we were already pulling up in the parking lot of Port Book.

I love this store. It's small and quaint yet they offer a wide selection of the classics, old and rare books. It's usually the only main reason why I would drive to Port Angeles.

As we entered the bookstore, I headed to the classics/fictional section and Edward headed towards the music section. Two hours later we found ourselves on a table sifting through our selections for our final pick for purchase.

I learned that Edward and I have a lot in common when it came to our reading preference while he educated me about music.

In the end, I had 10 new books and 3 cds in a shopping bag while Edward had 5 books and 6 cds of his own.

I found that I'm actually beginning to enjoy Edward's company as well. He's funny and sincere and he knows how to carry on a conversation. Most of the guys in my school, except for Gabe, can usually only stick to two types of conversation, sex and sports, once the subject strays away from it they get lost.

I can't help but think how anyone could possibly resist Edward's charm and how any woman can _not_ fall in love with this incrediblly perfect man. Unfortunately for me, I'm now beginning to realize that being related to Edward doesn't actually make me immune to his magnetic personality nor am I susceptible to his supernatural power of enticement. I'm now finding myself drawn to him and the more I resist and deny him, the stronger the pull is to this wonderful drug that is Edward.

Suddenly, I feel so weak and disappointment washed over me. I always thought myself to be a strong person emotionally but now I'm beginning to think otherwise. And all it took was a crooked smile, a tousled bronze hair and a pair of piercing grayish-blue eyes that can't seem to make up its mind if it's gray or blue, beautiful nonetheless.

We decided to walk towards the pier. Being that it's a rare sunny day out, it's a perfect day to take a stroll by the boardwalk.

* * *

**EPOV**

Until now since Esme and I arrived at Forks, I couldn't get over how Bella has grown into such an amazingly beautiful woman. Not that she was an ugly child or anything, on the contrary she was actually very cute and adorable, probably the prettiest little girl I've ever seen. However, I wasn't prepared for what came next. The moment I spotted those beautiful long wavy hair, big doe brown eyes with thick long lashes that reached out to the sky, perfect straight perky nose, pink luscious lips and dimpled smile I was totally captivated. And as Renee attacked Esme with a big hug, I thought brown eyes standing in the middle of all that 'greet and meet' commotion between my mom and her sister couldn't be a good thing, not to me anyway. When Renee finally confirmed what I was dreading, I nearly choked on own my spit as I learned that this goddess was actually my long lost Bella.

_Fuck me! _Of all the luck! She has to be my cousin.

Although I've always been drawn to her since we were little, I always thought that it was purely innocent since she was the closest and only person I grew up with until we moved to NY. So naturally, my being drawn to her even as a little boy, was thought to be only due to lack of having other kids around.

The day that we left Forks was the worst day of my childhood life. I hated being away from my Bella. I remember crying for her everyday for a few months. And even after the months turned to years, I still always thought about her. I don't know how and why we never kept in touch with each other? I couldn't help but wonder though how different things would have been between us if we stayed close. Would I still be drawn to her the way that I am now or would I be immune to her charm if we were always a part of each other's lives?

_Bella._ She's so beautiful and smart and very different from most, if not all, of the girls that I know. She's strong and down to earth. For a girl who grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, she sure is humble. She's so pure and intoxicating. _And she's my fucking cousin!_

This truly is a dilemma. Part of me tells me to stay away and keep things in perspective, but the other part of me can't and won't stay away and wants more and more of her. As if something inside me wants to keep pushing things to the limit and see where this 'wonderfully complicated emotions' would lead us. As if no one and nothing will matter as long as in the end she'll be mine. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to hold back, my stupid mouth seemed to have a mind of it's own shooting off about things it's not supposed to. I won't be surprised if Bella now has some idea of what my true feelings are for her at this point. And as much I as try to be rational about my feelings, or at least what I'm starting to feel for her, I seem to be failing miserably. She's like a drug to me, the more I try to avoid and deny my feelings, the more it tries to resurface and the more I want her. Knowing that she's off limits is heart-wrenching. In addition, not only will I not be allowed to be _with_ her, but the fact that my feelings being reciprocated is probably highly unlikely.

_How did this happen? Why did this happen? _God must be mocking me. I'm Edward Cullen. Not to be full of air but I can have my pick of women and yet I chose the only woman in the world that I can't have. What would Bella think of me if she ever finds out that her own cousin is in love with her? She would think I'm a monster and a pervert! Who in their right mind falls for their own relative? _She'll think I'm a fucking sicko!_

As we walked by the boardwalk, Bella spotted a Mr. Softee Ice Cream truck. She asked the ice cream man for a vanilla soft served and I handed him a bill.

"This is the only type of ice cream I would eat and like." She said as I watched her lick the soft ice cream with the tip of her tongue. Suddenly Little Edward was feeling excited and my jeans was starting to feel tight and uncomfortable. _Ohhh. Fuuck. Don't do that, Bella._

"You want some?" She asked as she offered me some of her ice cream.

"Uh, sure." I took her ice cream and licked the area where she just licked off of. The taste of her strawberry lip gloss lingered in my mouth. _Fucking delicious._

I handed her ice cream back to her and found myself in a trance as I watched her lips and her tongue work it's magic on the cold velvety cream and sugary treat. Wishing so much it was me in that cone right at that moment. I had to force myself to look the other way as she finished her ice cream if not I would end up having to find a men's room somewhere to quickly relieve myself.

I found myself truly enjoying Bella's company. She's funny and witty and I enjoyed teasing her immensely if only to watch her squirm. We spent the rest of the afternoon and all through the early evening just walking down the main street, checking out unique shops, museums and hanging out by the pier.

As nightfall came, we decided to have dinner in one of the restaurants in Port Angeles and soon enough, Bella was dragging me to one of her favorite restaurant called Castaways which turns into a nightclub after hours.

When we entered the restaurant, the hostess greeted us with the usual, "Hello, how many in your party?"

"Two, please." I can't help but notice the hostess eye-fucking me as she lead us to a table by the window with a view of the river.

"Your server will be right with you." The hostess said trying to hold my gaze.

"Thanks." I said annoyingly as I pulled out Bella's seat for her.

The hostess gave Bella one final look over and walked away with a huff.

"You like it?" Bella asked as I settled in my seat, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

I chuckled at how adorable she was, like a kid in a candy store.

I looked around. "It's nice. Yes, I like it." I responded.

"I love bringing people to my favorite spots. It's just my way of allowing them to get to know me better without me having to talk about it." She said shyly.

"Well, I can't wait when you find your favorite places when you're finally in NY so you can bring me to them." I said as I gave her my crooked smile that I know she loves. I usually unleash that smile only when absolutely necessary, it's a secret weapon I use to get my way. But with her, I find that if I can plaster my crooked smile on my face for 24 hours, I would, just to keep seeing her smile and react to it.

"I'm actually really excited to move to NY and I can't wait." She squealed practically bouncing off her seat clapping her hands like a little girl.

_Fucking adorable. _

She just has this air of childlike innocence about her yet she's so amazingly beautiful that at times I find myself wanting to just gather her up in my arms and spin her around for joy.

I can't help but feel giddy myself and want to bounce off my seat as well out of my excitement at the thought of her finally living close to me if only I wouldn't look stupid.

"I know, I can't wait either." I said smiling, "I can't wait to bring you to my favorite places in NY myself."

Just then our waiter came to take our drink orders. "I'll be right back with your drinks and take your order when you're ready." He said as he eyed Bella and gave her a huge grin.

_Really?!? In front of me, asshole?!?_

Bella said a quick 'thanks' and when she looked up past my shoulder, her face lit up.

I followed her gaze to see a man about my height with a slight tan, brown hair and hazel eyes making his way to our table.

"Gabe!" She squealed as she got up to meet him halfway.

_What the fuck is a Gabe?!?_

Gabe took her in his arms for a tight hug as he buried his face on the crook of her neck while she laced her arms around his neck. It was a very intimate and personal hug for just a friend and all I wanted to do was to pick up my seat and throw it at him.

_Get your hands off her, fucker! _My mind was screaming.

"Bella!" He said almost a whisper, "I've missed you."

_Tick Tock Tick Tock_

I cleared my throat and Bella pulled away from Gabe while he kept his arm around her waist.

_He just won't fucking let up with that arm and he's just about to lose it if he doesn't keep it to himself anytime soon._

"Gabe, this is Edward, my cousin. Edward, Gabe." Bella said waving her hand back and forth as she introduced us.

Gabe offered his hand to me to shake and if Bella wasn't around, I would've used that opportunity to rip it off of his body.

"Nice to meet you, man." I said as I shook his hand.

"You too. So how are you liking it at Forks and Port Angeles?" He asked as he looked at Bella with such love I wanted to puke.

_I'm right here, dude, not on her face!_

"It's cool. I have an amazing tour guide." I said as I gave Bella a warm smile.

"I know what you mean, man. She's wonderful." _Again with the look._ My hand is so twitching to just pummel his face and wipe that puppy look off his stupid face.

Just then our waiter came back with our drinks and ready to take our orders. Gabe hung around and waited after we gave out our orders and the waiter left.

"So, you guys are going to hang around for the nightclub, right?" Gabe asked looking at Bella as if pleading for her to say yes.

Bella eyed me as if to ask silently if I wanted to stay.

"That's up to Bella. It doesn't matter to me. _I'll go where she goes_." I said sincerely, hoping she noticed the double-edged meaning of my last words.

"Uhm, I guess it's ok. Well, since Edward wanted to go clubbing anyways, I guess tonight is as good as any." She said smiling at me.

"Great!" Gabe clapped his hands together and started to get up from his seat.

"I'll look you guys up later after dinner then. Oh, and the meal is on me and I'll let the bartenders know that it's open bar for you two." He said then turned to Bella, "I'll see you later, babe." And gave her a soft lingering kiss on the forehead.

_Oh hell, I swear if not his arms, his lips has got to go!_

"Ok, thanks, Gabe. I'll see you later." Bella smiled up at him.

"See you later, Edward. Nice meeting you." He said as he turned to walk away.

"You too." I said and turned back to Bella.

"So, that was interesting." I said with a curious faint smile on my face.

"Uhh, yeah. That was Gabe - Gabriel, my ex-boyfriend. His family actually owns this restaurant." She said as she looked down.

_Great. Of all nights and of all the restaurants out here... Absofuckinglutely perfect._

"Huh, here are two questions for you." I said with a frown. "Did you know he was going to be here and how long were you two together?" I asked wanting to know how deep that relationship went.

"Uhm, no and a couple of years." She answered awkwardly as if wanting to end the conversation. But I'm not having that.

"Really?" I replied hoping she didn't notice my sarcasm.

"How serious was it?"

"Are you asking if I slept with him?" She asked annoyed. I couldn't help but be amused by her forwardness.

"Yup." I replied knowing that I was getting on her nerves with my interrogation.

"Edward, first of all, it's not like it's any of your business. But if you must know, then no, I didn't sleep with him. He was a complete gentleman."

"Good." I answered with a serious tone and looking her straight in the eye.

I wanted to let her know that I can't stand the thought of someone else touching her or worst loving her when I can't be that way with her. Just the thought of it suffocates me.

"Edward, I appreciate you trying to be there for me. But don't you think you're sort of going overboard with this over-protective behavior of yours? I thought you were bad when we were little, but geez, I never thought it can get any worst." She said softly with a smirk.

I sighed and glanced at her and looked down on the table while I drew patterns and circles with my index finger on the white table cloth. _How can I tell her what I'm feeling? Should I even tell her?_

"I'm sorry, Bella. But like I told you before, I can't help what I'm feeling. And I can't help but feel overly protective of you-" I stopped as the waiter came with our food.

When the waiter left, I continued. "Bella, even after all those years when we didn't hear from each other, I often thought about you. Wondering how you were doing and if you were even thinking about me."

"So why didn't you just… call?" She asked looking at me as she twirled her pasta with her fork.

"I know, I should have, but it was awkward for me you know. Since we haven't seen each other for years. Besides, I wasn't sure if you even had time to talk to your own cousin." I said unleashing my weapon.

_And there it is_. The one sided dimpled smile that I love so much, the smile that finds it's way on her lips whenever I unleash my crooked smile on her. It's like I show her mine, she shows me hers.

We kept our conversation light after that and enjoyed our dinner. Once we were done with our entrée, she ordered a dessert for us to share, an espresso for me and coffee for her. I learned that her favorite dessert is tiramisu and crème brulee, and she has to have coffee at the end of every meal almost every time, but only during dinner. She said it's a way to calm her stomach after a heavy meal during dinner.

I also learned that she loves those round chubby mints that the restaurants have, the ones that melts in your mouth. Lastly, I learned that Bella is such low maintenance. She doesn't like anyone buying her anything or giving her expensive gifts, she prefers homemade gifts. Meanwhile she loves spoiling the people she cares about. She's easy to please and although she loves to cook, she absolutely gets excited about eating out.

Once we were done with dinner, we decided to head to the other room where the dancefloor was located. Part of the dining room was transformed into a lounge after 11:00 on Friday and Saturday nights.

I can see the crowd was getting thick and a lot of people were already on the dance floor. Bella and I made our way towards the bar and I ordered her a kamikaze while I got a beer for myself. As we were sitting by the bar stools, men kept flocking their way towards Bella, asking her to dance and each time someone would ask her, I would make my presence known and give them the death glare. Luckily for me, Bella found my reaction amusing and just kept turning the losers down. I, myself, had my fair share of women fawning over me and trying to get me to dance with them. But I only had my eyes for Bella and no woman will be able to pry me away from her._ Even if I can't have her._

Suddenly, a sexy song called Obsession came on and Bella stood up and came up to me. She leaned over slowly as if unsure and said softly to my ear, "I know this song is a bit too sexy to dance to, but, would you dance with me anyway?"

Little Edward twitched and suddenly became very alert as if to say _'I'm up, boss! Ready when you are!'_ but I couldn't care less about the uncomfortable feeling in my pants at that moment. My buttoned-up shirt was long enough to hide the bulge that was now becoming more obvious much to my liking. All I wanted to do was pull her to the dance floor faster than she can say 'zip a dee doo da'. All I wanted to do was be close to her _however_ I can.

I grabbed her hand and lead her to the dance floor. Once on the dance floor I turned her around so that her back was against my chest. The song was slow but with a sexy beat and her body just flowed with it as if her movement was what's causing the erotic beat. _She was sooo sexy. _She raised her arms up in the air above her head and with her eyes closed she moved slowly with the music, swaying her hips from left to right in a smooth tight figure eight, almost like a sensual belly dancer.

I couldn't help but pull her closer to me with my arm snaking it's way around her waist. Our bodies were so painfully close that I could feel every sensual curve of her body against mine. I brushed her hair away to the side and planted a soft kiss on the back of her shoulder and whispered her name. "_Bella…" _Her name rolling off my tongue as I softly sighed.

I felt her tense a little but looked up to me and smiled, her eyes intense with a look that seem to say '_It's ok, Edward'_. My hands slowly made it's way from her hips down to the side of her thighs. Caressing her through her thin clothing. She then leaned her head back against my shoulder, still moving with the beat as my arm snaked it's way back around her waist once again, feeling the soft skin on her stomach as her shirt rode up. My head dropped down slowly and planted a soft kiss on the soft hollow of her neck. I only hoped she couldn't feel my now painfully hard cock brushing up against her back. But even she did, she ignored it.

She was such a good dancer and she didn't even have to try which made her even sexier. Men all around us had their eyes on her and I couldn't help but feel smug for having her in my arms. _Yes, in Edward Cullen's arms._

When the song changed, she turned to me and smiled the sweetest smile as if to say thank you. She grabbed my hand and lead me out of the dance floor and back to the dining room that was now transformed into a lounge.

The lounge has become dimmer and there were now velvet plush retro style sofas in dark purple, almost black in color, each sofas accompanied by small coffee tables. The bar was crowded with people just hanging out and there was a loud music playing in the background. The music in this room was more alternative.

Bella and I found an empty love seat that matched all the other sofas in the room with a small round wooden coffee table in front of it. We sat and hang out and just relaxed as we listened to the music. We sat so close to each other that our legs were almost touching. Bella positioned herself so that she was facing me with one leg folded and resting on the sofa. I mirrored her position but the opposite way so that we were facing each other. She rested the side of her head on the back of the sofa and just watched me. I took her other hand and drew circles on her palm with my thumb.

__

cause it's you and me and all of the people

with nothing to do

nothing to lose

"That's so relaxing, Edward." She sighed softly her eyes fluttering close.

__

cause it's you and me and all of the people

with nothing to do

nothing to lose

and it's you and me and all of the people

and I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

I couldn't help but just stare at her. My eyes rested on her lips wanting nothing more than to kiss her at that moment. I moved closer and she slowly opened her eyes to watch me.

__

all of the things that I want to say

just aren't coming out right

"You ok?" She asked barely a whisper. A soft smile ghosting her lips. Her eyes flickered down to my lips and slowly made it's way back up to look deeply into my eyes again.

__

I'm tripping inwards

you got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

I nodded slowly and rested my head on the back of the sofa,, changing my position so that both my feet were now planted on the floor slightly hunching against the sofa but kept my head facing her. My hand still holding hers. I sighed. It was such pure bliss just sitting there with her.

__

there's something about you now

I can't quite figure out

"How do you feel?" I asked softly, "you seem so relaxed right now and your face is flushed." I said smiling slightly as I lifted my hand to her lips, my thumb finding it's way to caress her bottom lip softly. She froze when I touched her but relaxed within a few seconds when I slowly pulled my hand away.

"I feel relaxed. I'm a light drinker and I've never actually ever experienced being pissed drunk, not even enough to feel a hang over the following day." She said with a chuckle. "I'm boring, aren't I" She finished.

__

everything she does is beautiful

everything she does is right

"On the contrary, I think you're the most fascinating creature I've ever known." I said as I moved closer to her so that our faces were now only inches away from each other. Our nose almost touching. "Bella..." I said softly as I held her gaze into mine.

__

you and me and all of the people

with nothing to do

nothing to lose

and it's you and me and all of the people

and I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

"Edward…" She whispered back, her eyes glazed over.

"Uh-hmm.."

Just then Mr. Wonderful decided to pop out of nowhere and interrupt my time with Bella.

She looked up and smiled. "Gabe..!" She said, "Have you been having fun?"

I looked at him and saw him frowning while he looked at me and Bella. He plopped himself close, too close, next to Bella on the other side and put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. "No," he pouted, "I've been looking for you. Where were you?" He asked looking more pathetic than ever.

"I've just been here with Edward. We were dancing a while ago."

"Will you dance with me before you leave?" He asked with pleading eyes.

I held the urge to roll my eyes and kick him in the nuts.

"I guess," she said then turned to look at me, "Edward, do you mind if I dance with Gabe for a bit?"

_Over my dead fucking body!_

"Go ahead. But we should probably head back soon." I said nonchalantly as if everything was just fine and dandy.

"Ok, it'll be quick." She said as they got up and made their way back to the dance floor.

I sighed and combed my fingers through my hair.

_Now I really can't wait to get her out of this fucking town and back to NY with me. _

_Just me. _

_No pathetic puppy dog face Gabe. _

_Just me. _

I decided to follow them to the other room and hang out by the bar. I wanted to keep an eye on Bella and make sure he didn't try anything stupid.

Bella and Gabe were on the dance floor dancing to I Don't Wanna Stop. The beat was a bit faster than the song we were dancing to earlier. He held her close as they moved slowly together - slower than the beat permitted, his arm around her waist while his hand rested on the small of her back. Their bodies swaying from side to side, one of leg in between hers as she mirrored his position. He was grinding against her, both of them swaying to the music. He leaned his forehead on hers as she held onto his hips. She had her eyes closed and she looked so erotic. Then his face moved slowly even closer to hers as she slowly opened her eyes to look into his, their bodies still moving together to their own beat. I closed my eyes. My heart wanted to burst out of my chest.

_When the waves crash beneath us_

_Down below this empty feeling_

My Bella.

I couldn't breath and all I wanted to do was carry her in my arms and take her far away from here. Away with me.

_I Don't Wanna Stop_

_I Don't Wanna Stop_

As I opened my eyes I watched as he nuzzled his face against the crook of her neck. He was whispering something in her ear and she cradled his face between her hands and her shoulder while still moving to the music, her face leaning towards his as she smiled as if reassuring him that everything will be alright.

_Can we dance like everything's alright_

_Can we trade the day in for the night_

Watching her give this man such affection rips my heart out. I want to be on the receiving end of that affection. I want to be the only man she loves. _But how? I can't have her. I will never have her. I can only love her from a distance._

_Like a homesick tunneling_

_I'm not breathing till I leave with you believing _

_I don't wanna trace another song_

I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes as I continued to watch in agony. I rapidly blinked my eyes willing the tears to go away.

_When the wind blows between us_

_High above this empty feeling_

_I Don't Wanna Stop_

Finally, the music changed and Bella lead Gabe out of the dance floor. I let out a breath that I didn't even realize I was holding. She made her way to where I was sitting by the bar. Her eyes looking sad and intense and something else that I couldn't quite recognize as she held my gaze. When she reached me, she smiled and grabbed my hand.

"Are you ready to go home?" She asked softly.

I nodded and squeezed her hand.

Gabe turned her around and asked if she wanted him to drive her home instead. All hell almost broke loose. If Bella didn't decline his offer he would've found himself forgetting his name by the following day.

Bella gave him a final hug and said goodbye as he held her face in his hands and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. I had to turn around and closed my eyes willing for my memory to erase the picture of what is now causing my stomach to want to lurch.

Just then, Bella tugged on my hand and I lead her out of the nightclub.

Our drive home was spent in comfortable silence. I decided to drive so Bella can rest. Both of us were deep in our thoughts and the air was so thick you can slice it with a knife.

My mind was running through every possible scenarios of how I can let Bella know about my feelings for her. I don't know how much longer I can hold it in without telling her. I feel like I wanted to burst with all these emotions bottled up inside me.

"Are you ok, Edward?"

I turned to look at her quickly and back on the road in front of me. Whatever she saw on my face caused a confused and concerned look on hers.

I frowned and said, "I'm ok."

"You know you can talk to me, right?" She said hoping that I would open up. "You can trust me." She continued.

I sighed and looked at her again. With a small smile I said, "I know."

"I really had fun today. I hope you did too." She said with a smile.

"I did. Thank you for taking me. You have no idea how much I enjoyed spending time with you today." I responded glancing back at her, a smile ghosting it's way on my lips.

"I'm so glad. I wasn't sure what to expect since I haven't seen you for the longest time. I wasn't sure what you'd like to do or what you enjoyed doing. I'm glad it turned out fun for both of us." She said happily, then, "I really missed you, Edward." She barely whispered the last words I almost didn't hear it. I turned to look at her only to find her staring with eyes full of emotions.

I couldn't help but feel my heart swell. _She missed me! She fucking missed me! Oh joy!_

_Oh, oh,_

_Be my baby_

_Ohhhhh_

_Oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_I'll look after you_

I took her hand and squeezed it, "You have no idea how much I've missed you." I said softly, "I didn't have to come to Forks but I couldn't wait to see you."

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go_

_Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know_

"Really??" She said surprised with a huge grin and such joy on her face that I almost pulled up on the shoulder and kissed her.

"Really." I said and held her gaze to mine.

_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around_

_You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

She then leaned her head back and released a sigh of contentment. Her face turned towards my direction. Her eyes just watching me.

_Oh, oh _

_Be my baby_

_Ohhhhhh_

_Oh, oh_

_Be my Baby_

_I'll look after you_

_And I'll look after you_

Whatever it was that passed between us at that moment seemed to be an understanding that only she and I knew what it meant. It was like a silent communication between us that allowed us to let each other know about our feelings for each other. Even without words it was there, hanging over us and lingering in the air. Even without words I knew and was almost positive, that she felt the same way somehow.

_If ever there was a doubt_

_My love she leans into me_

_This most assuredly counts_

_She says most assuredly_

We didn't have to say anything. We didn't have to say the words. Our feelings for each other were so strong and deep enough that it allowed itself to be known by both of us.

_Oh, oh _

_Be my baby_

_I'll look after you_

_After You_

_Oh, oh_

_Be my baby_

_Ohhhhh_

It was then that I knew.

_It's always have and never hold_

Nothing can take her away from me. And nothing can take me away from her.

_You've begun to feel like home_

She was mine and I will fight for her. I will face whatever obstacle we encounter head on. Our connection by blood won't and don't matter for it is nothing compared to the love I feel for her. Us having the same blood running through our veins that forbids us to be together is merely God's way of fucking with my life.

If it's so wrong why then does it feel so right wanting to be with Bella? Who says your soulmate can't be someone related to you? Wasn't Eve created from one of Adam's ribs? Didn't they then have the same flesh and blood running through their very existence?

Love knows no boundaries after all... and there are no boundaries when it comes to my love for Bella.

_What's mine is yours to leave or take_

_What's mine is yours to make your own_

_You are so beautiful to me_


	3. Chapter 3

**TAKE TWO ON OUR CHAPTER THREE.. Really sorry about that but I just had to make it better for you guys. **

**Thanks again for all the reviews, alerts and favorites. I'm glad readers likes my story enough to follow it.**

**Chapter Playlist:**

**Never Say Never – The Fray**

**www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/17472572427/standalone**

* * *

**Chapter 3  
**

**BPOV**

By the time we pulled up on my driveway, it was a little past 1:00 am. I didn't even realize how late it was. Edward and I spent the rest of the drive in silence. Telling Edward that I missed him was the first time I let some of my guard down since he arrived in Forks. I feel as if I'm walking on eggshells trying to be careful with what I say to him in regards to my feelings. I felt as if I had to hold back from saying too much fearing that he might take things the wrong way or blow things out of proportion. The last thing I want to happen is to be misunderstood or be thought of as too forward by my own cousin.

The silence that lingered between us for the rest of the ride was filled with unspoken feelings. There was no denying now that there's more to us than we cared to admit. Than _I _cared to admit. Still, I found myself debating with myself on how to deal with this new revelation. My mind was running a 100 miles per hour, every scenario playing in my head of what would become of us, scenarios flickering through my mind like a rolodex trying to find the answers I needed but failing miserably. The thought of Edward and I having these feelings for each other was not something I had anticipated. It would have been a lot easier if it was just me, but having to deal with Edward's feelings as well would be even harder.

Edward pulled up in the garage, put the car in park and turned the key off the ignition half way. He just sat there with a distant look, the radio still playing faintly in the background. We were still both deep in our thoughts seemingly not knowing how to proceed or where to go from here.. "Are you ok?" He turned to me and studied my face carefully. I could see his hand twitch as if wanting to reach out to me but decided against it.

"I'm ok." I reassured him and giving him a faint smile. "Just confused, is all." I let out a small sigh and looked down on my lap were my hands were resting.

Edward's hand reached out and placed a finger under my chin turning my face to look at him. "You..you feel it too, don't you?"

It took a while for me to respond but eventually nodded hesitantly. He let go of my chin and the back of his fingers trailed it's way to caress my cheek softly.

We held each other's gaze, my heart was beating so fast I thought I would faint. I could sense Edward hesitating about something he wanted to say. I smiled at him and reached out to squeeze his hand. "You don't have to say anymore right now, Edward." I said.

"Maybe it would be better if we don't for now." I continued hoping he would understand. "I just think we need to figure out a lot of things and I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what it is that you want to say to me yet." My heart ached suddenly. The reality of our situation came crashing into me like a freight train. I could feel Edward trying to deal with his own emotions right at that moment. His head down and his shoulders slumped against the seat of the car

When he finally looked up, I noticed how red his eyes had become from tears that he seemed to be holding back . "Can I just say something?" He pleaded as he reached out to take my hand. I looked deep into his eyes and nodded my head slowly, bracing myself for what was coming next.

"I want you to know that I never meant to confuse you nor make things difficult for us. I only wished that I can tell you what I have been feeling for the past 24 hours but I know you're not ready to hear it and I'm willing to wait. I also know that I don't have to say it in words as my feelings are strong enough that I know you can feel it. If I could change things, I would but I wouldn't want to, and not that I could even if I wanted to." He sighed heavily his eyes never leaving mine. "But I just hope that you wouldn't allow this," he gestured to us with his hand, "as a reason to stay away from me. That would be the last thing I want to happen. If you're still the same Bella I knew when we were little, you have a habit of running away when things got difficult. Just. Don't. Runaway. From. Me." He looked pleadingly into my eyes now, the crease on his forehead deepening.

I let out the breath that I was holding, my eyes darted everywhere but his, as if trying to find the right words I needed to say. "Edward, I'm not like you. It takes me a while to figure things out at times." I finally looked at him and lifted my hand to caress his arm. "This." I mirrored his gesture earlier, waving my hand between us, "Us. Doesn't it scare you? You're right. You don't even have to say the words. I already know because I can feel it. In fact, even saying it's all wrong is pointless at this point because the feelings are already there. The words that we feel we need to say to each other will neither make the feelings go away nor make things easier. But it doesn't mean it's ok. We both know it's not ok." I spoke softly, "I don't want to ask 'what now?' because I don't know what now? And I'm not sure I want to know 'what now' either. What more is, I can't promise you anything right now, not even to promise not to runaway since I'm truly scared of what I'm starting to feel... Everything is just too much for me. All I know is that, you and I, we shouldn't..we _can't _feel this way about each other..." My voice pained, I bit my bottom lip trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to escape. "I only hope you would allow me to deal with this, with whatever is going on between us, in my own pace and my own way. Please understand, I don't know if I'm strong enough for this."

_Some things we don't talk about_

_Rather do without and just hold the smile_

Edward ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. His brow furrowed and I could sense that there was something he wanted to say.

_Falling in and out of love_

_Ashamed and proud of, together all the while_

When he finally looked at me, I saw a single tear trail it's way down from the corner of his eye down to his cheek. I reached out and pulled him into my arms. My heart clenched as he held me tight. I couldn't breath from the difficulty of our situation. Avoiding the words was necessary if only to keep myself afloat, to keep myself from drowning in my own emotions. I needed to stay strong for both of us. I couldn't allow the gate of emotions to open up as I know it could destroy us both.

_You can never say never_

_While we don't know when_

_But time and time again_

_Younger now than we were before_

Edward's shoulders began to shake, my eyes started to well up with tears. It pained me to see him this way. "Edward, don't." I whispered, my voice sounded broken as _he_ was right at that moment. We stood that way, just holding each other for what seemed like hours. Not saying any words with only the radio playing softly in the background.

_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_

Suddenly he pulled away slowly and held my face in his hands. We held each other's gaze, his eyes red and wet, his long lashes clumped together just as mine was. "Bella," his voice broke as he shook his head from side to side, "I don't know what I can do to convince you that I will never hurt you. I'm terrified too, terrified of all these emotions that I'm feeling for you, but I can be strong for both of us. Just-" he started to say and I had to cut him off.

_Picture, you're the queen of everything_

_Far as the eye can see under your command_

"Edward, don't. Please don't say anymore.." I didn't want to hear it. Call me a coward but I wasn't ready to hear anything more.

_I will be your guardian when all is crumbling_

_I'll steady your hand_

He took a deep breath and nodded his head in defeat. "As you wish." He said the words with a sigh.

_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go_

I reached out to cup his cheek in my hand, "Hey," I smiled warmly, "I'm not going anywhere." I slightly shrugged trying to lighten the air between us, "I'm going to NY with you, remember?" I said softly watching a smile slowly ghost it's way on his lips.

"You're right. You're not going anywhere." He smiled playfully giving him a boyish look, "I won't let you." He said teasingly as he grabbed my hand resting on his cheek and kissed my palm.

He then sighed heavily. "Are you ready to go in?" He asked after a few minutes while reaching to take the keys out off the ignition and turning off the car radio in the process. I nodded my head as he got out of the car and made his way to my side to open my door for me. He reached out to grab my hand and helped me out of the car. Once I was out, he stood in front of me and moved closer. I felt his lips brush against my forehead. When he pulled away he had a huge grin on his face and gestured towards the house with his head.

The house was quiet as we walked in through the mud room that was connected to the garage. We made our way through the kitchen and as we entered, Maria was making her way towards us. I looked around the room and noticed boxes that's been packed sitting on top of each other everywhere.

"You kids had fun today?" Maria asked with a smile as she came up to take my shopping bags from me.

"Why are you still up, Maria?" I looked at her with affection. She often waited up for me whenever I went out with my friends and I always loved her for it.

Edward grinned at her while making his way to the refrigerator. "Yes, it was fun. I had an amazing tour guide." He informed her teasingly while grabbing a carton of orange juice and closing the refrigerator door behind him.

Maria made her way to the cupboard to grab a clean glass and handed it to him. "I'm sure she was." She chuckled teasingly at him.

"Bella, do you want me to put these in your room or in one of your boxes?"

"I think I'll be reading some of them soon so I can just take it to my room for now." I gestured to grab the shopping bags but she turned away from me. "I'll bring it up for you, honey. I have to bring something upstairs anyway so I'll drop it off in your room on my way." She started to walk towards the stairs but turned back to look at Edward with a calculating look.

"Are you being a good boy, Edward?" She smirked at him, "You better not be giving our Bellie a hard time." Her eyebrow raised and her foot tapping on the floor.

Edward who was drinking almost choked on his orange juice as he looked up to see her smirking at him. He chuckled guiltily and shook his head in amusement. "Maria!" I cajoled, I couldn't help but chuckle along with Edward.

"It's ok, Bella," Edward said teasingly, "yes, Maria, I'm being a good boy. Aren't I always?"

"Hhmmmm. Sure you are, boy." She then turned and continued to head to the direction of the stairs. "You kids should go to bed now as it is really late." Her voice trailing off as she continued to walk away from the kitchen.

"Well, I think I should head upstairs as well." I turned to look at Edward who was placing the empty glass in the sink. "Yeah, me too." He said as he took a few steps towards me. "I was actually wondering if maybe we can go to the beach tomorrow? What do you think?" He asked with a faint smile. His eyes hopeful.

"Umm, I actually have to run some errands tomorrow afternoon. If I get done early though we might be able to."

I decided just a short while ago that I would spend some time with Gabriel tomorrow since I promised him I would. But I didn't think Edward needed to know about my plans at this point.

"Oh, ok." He furrowed his brow, looking down in the process.

We headed upstairs together and separated in the hallway making our way towards our separate rooms.

"Well, good night, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Good night, Edward." I smiled up at him.

Once I reached my bedroom, I drew in a deep breath and sighed heavily. I couldn't think anymore tonight. I refused to. I grabbed my sleepwear and went to the bathroom to do my nightly routine.

When I finally got under my sheets and my head hit the pillow, I drifted off to sleep almost immediately. The emotional rollercoaster had taken its toll for the day.

Within a few hours, I found myself waking up to Edward's crooked smile and his beautiful face lingering in my mind.

_Edward._

Just the thought of him puts a smile on my face. _How nice it would be if everything was normal between us. If he wasn't related to me in anyway and we met under different circumstances. To actually wake up every morning to his sweet and musky scent, his face close to mine and our bodies intertwined with each other_. I sighed heavily.

_If_ o_nly..._

I turned to find my orange juice already on its usual place on my nightstand. _Hello there, OJ_.

_She never fails._ I chuckled and glanced at my alarm clock which read 9:10 am. I sighed and adjusted myself on my bed so that I was lying flat on my back and staring up at the ceiling. I turned to look at my picture window and my now opened balcony doors that Maria left opened for me. Another routine that she did during sunny days that I had grown accustomed to. My room has the view of our ridiculously ostentatious and expansive garden that boasts a large collection of ornamental conifers. In the distant beyond the garden was a densely wooded area that expand for miles and miles. _I'm going to miss my room so much_.

I took that moment to recall the events from yesterday. Everything seemed to have happened so fast. It has only been 48 hours since Edward and I were reunited since we were five. Less than 48 hours since I started questioning the normalcy of our relationship and the unusual uncousinly pull that drew us to each other in such a short period of time since we first laid our eyes on each other. And only 24 hours since I realized that Edward meant more to me than I cared to admit, more than I should. Even though now that our feelings were obvious to Edward and I, to verbally declare my feelings was not something I think I could do just yet. And I don't know if I will ever have the courage to do so either. _I am a coward, aren't I? _I give it to Edward for accepting us, our situation, with open arms. For willing to take risks. In fact I admire him for it. I, on the other hand, preferred to take things slow and even avoid it or bury it if possible.

_Coward._

_What am I scared of? _The ungodly consequences of our forbidden relationship if we both pursued it.

_How can we possibly make this work for us? _There's no loophole. Our relationship, if we allowed it, will have to be concealed by both of us. To act like normal cousins when we're in public or surrounded by friends and family and only show our affection to each other in private.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the ringing of my cell phone.

_Gabe Calling._

"Hello?" I greeted with my morning croaky voice.

"_Hello, sweetheart_?" I smiled to myself upon hearing his warm and sexy voice. _I will surely miss Gabriel._

"Hi, Gabe."

"_I was wondering, sweetheart, if you're free today? Maybe you can bring your pretty little self to spend some time with me?" _I thought for a moment. Edward wanted to go to the beach, however, I feel the need to be away from him today if only to clear my mind. _"_Sure, Gabe. What do you have in mind?"

"_Well, I thought maybe we can take a drive to Seattle. I'd like to take you out for brunch. We can also take a walk around Pike Place Market if you'd like. I know how much you enjoy that. What do you think?"_

"Sure, that sounds perfect, Gabe. I'll be ready in an hour." I said as I actually found myself looking forward to a less emotional day. That was just what I needed to keep my mind off of Edward. Not that I didn't like spending time with Edward, on the contrary. In fact I enjoy being with Edward immensely, way too much for my own good. But until I'm ready to deal with the subject that is 'Edward and I', I'll just have to find ways to occupy my time away from him as much as possible and Gabe was the perfect distraction for now.

"_Ok, sweetheart. I'll pick you up in a bit." _We said our goodbyes and I pulled myself out of the bed to get ready. I'm actually excited about spending time with Gabriel. Since we broke up a few weeks ago, I had been avoiding spending time with him. As much as I missed him, it was my way of hoping to make things easier for him. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy to avoid him since he called almost everyday even if just to say 'hi'. Gabriel was such a great guy. If we weren't moving, I could actually see he and I having a long and fruitful relationship.

I chose to take a nice relaxing bath hoping to ease the knots that had tensed up the muscles on my back and a bath was just what my body needed. I put on minimal make up consisting of mascara, light blush and my favorite juicy tube lip gloss. I put on a sundress with spaghetti straps that reached just above my knee and a pair of flat jeweled sandals. I fixed my hair up in a messy twist and wrapped a scarf around my head giving the effect of a very fresh summery look.

I headed downstairs to have a light breakfast and found Maria fussing around in the kitchen. "Morning, Maria."

I sat on the barstool by the kitchen counter and skimmed through the selection of food that she has prepared. "Morning, Bellie. You're up early."

I nodded and smiled as I grabbed a toast and spread some butter and jelly on it. "I'm going out with Gabe today. He's taking me to Seattle and just spend some quality time together." I eyed her as she poured me a glass of juice.

"That's good. That boy is going to miss you, Bellie." She said giving me a comforting smile. I sighed suddenly realizing that leaving Forks was going to be harder than I thought it would be. For the past few weeks I had been preoccupied with my own excitement about the move and about New York that I haven't had the time to contemplate on certain things and certain people that I was leaving behind. _I can be so blind and selfish sometimes. _"I know." I responded guiltily as I finished my toast.

"Hey, Maria..." I thought over the question that I wanted to ask her as I nibbled on my toast, "um, I was just wondering.. what would you do if you fall in love with someone you're not supposed. Would you tell that person and let them know or just leave it alone?" I asked nonchalantly and swallowing in the process, meanwhile my heart was pounding on my chest and crossing my fingers that she wouldn't make a big deal out of a simple question.

"Hmm, well it depends on the situation." She turned to me and shrugged. "And it depends on the people involved. I say if the person is worth it, go for it. You have nothing to lose." She smiled warmly and continued, "Sometimes, honey, love has a funny way of making itself known between two people. Our heart loves who it wants to love, at times, our hearts calls to someone we least expect to be on the receiving end of our affection and often enough there's nothing we can do about it…" She finished with a loving smile and turned back to her work.

"Hmm..I guess you're right." I said quietly and looking down on my empty plate, pondering upon what she had said.

I was just finishing my orange juice when the doorbell rang. "That's Gabe. I'll see you later, Maria."

"Ok, honey. Have fun." I nodded and smiled turning away towards the front door. I was hoping that Gabe would pick me up before Edward woke up and I was glad he did.

As I made my way to the door I suddenly found myself feeling bad for not telling Edward about my plans for today. I thought that spending time with Gabe would be a good idea, suddenly I was feeling guilty for practically using Gabriel just to avoid Edward. Ugh!

"Bella!" Gabe almost knocked me over, more or less attacking me with a tight hug as soon as I opened the door. "Gabe! Can't…brea-" Realizing the damage he was doing, he loosened his hug but kept me in his arms. "Oops. Sorry, baby." He smiled sheepishly. "I just really missed you." He gazed at me, his lips forming into a pout.

He looked so adorable I couldn't help but grin at him as I laced my arms around his neck, giving him a peck on the corner of his lips. "It's ok. I missed you too." _I really did miss him._

He grabbed my hand from around his neck and squeezed it. "Let's go," tugging me towards his car that was parked in my driveway, "we're going to have so much fun today." He said smiling mischievously and wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

I closed the door behind me and followed his lead. _This will be a great day. I will just have to deal with Edward when I get home. But for now, I'll just have to put all that aside and enjoy Gabriel's company._

**EPOV**

I woke up to the sound of car tires screeching out of the Swan's driveway.

_What time is it? _I turned to look at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. 10:20 am_. Ugh! Who the hell was that?!?_

I laid there for a few more minutes willing myself to get out of my groggy state. _I will have to convince Bella to spend the day with me today. I'm sure I can convince her to bring me along with her to whatever errand she has to do. She could be shoveling cow poop for all I care as long as I was with her._

I smiled at the thought of spending another day with my Bella. _Wow, what a day I had yesterday. _I couldn't help but think back to the past 48 hours since my arrival in Forks. _Huh. Who would've fucking thought that my trip to Washington State would find me falling head over heels in love with my own cousin? The best part is I know she feels the same way. I'm almost positive. She just doesn't know it yet. Damn it! Either that or she's just trying so hard to deny it. _

She truly is amazing though. It doesn't matter that she's not ready yet. I will wait for her to come around even if it takes me eternity to make her love me back. I know that she's scared but I will do everything in my power to find a loophole, to find a way to make this work for both of us. I'm not worried about what people would think of me and I couldn't careless if Carlisle disowned me for pursuing Bella. I don't care about anything as long as I have my Bella. She's all that matters to me. I will move her away to the end of the earth if I have to as long as we're together. As long as she'll have me, I will do anything for her. And I'm willing to wait.

Eventually I decided to get up to start the day. _I wonder if she's still asleep? _I finally got out of bed and headed to the adjoining bathroom of my room. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and put on a pair of distressed faded denims and white buttoned down shirt, rolling the sleeves up to my elbow for a more casual look. My ridiculously untamable bronze hair just wouldn't cooperate again so I dejectedly left it the way it wanted to sit on my head. _I could never understand what the fuss was that the women made over my hair? What the hell was the big deal about it anyway? It's just a fucking stupid hair and often than not it wouldn't even listen to me! _I huffed and gave up doing something about it and started to head downstairs.

I found Esme, Renee and Maria in the kitchen. Bella was nowhere yet. _She's probably still sleeping. _"Good morning everyone!" I said cheerily eyeing the smorgasbord that Maria prepared for breakfast.

"Edward dear, how was your outing with Bella yesterday?" Esme asked as Maria poured orange juice in my glass. "It was great. I had an amazing time." The corners of my mouth turned up into a wide grin as I remembered the time being so close to Bella as we danced, - _Twitch! Down Little Edward -_ sitting so closely to her at the lounge as I held her hand and our deep conversation in her car as I _almost_ declared my feelings for her early in the morning.

"That's good, dear. Well I thought maybe you can tag along with me and your Aunt Renee to Seattle today." She passed me the maple syrup across from the table. "I wanted to visit some shops and sorts while we're here." She persuaded and nodded to Renee while I drowned my pancakes with the warm syrup. "Can't, mom," I wolfed down 2 bites of my pancakes and continued, "I think I'll be joining Bella with her errands today."

Renee was busy going over a list of sorts that was laid out in front of her as she smiled at me and Esme.

"Oh, Eddie," Maria started to say, "Bella is already gone. Gabriel picked her up about an hour ago. He wanted to take her out and spend some time with her." She patted me on the back as she replaced the plate of eggs on the table. My heart dropped to my stomach at the same time that I dropped my fork on my plate causing it to make a loud clanking sound against the porcelain dinnerware. _What the fuck?!?_

"Did she mention where they're going, Maria?" Renee looked up from her task. "I believe she mentioned Seattle. He wanted to take her for brunch. That boy is missing our Bella too much already and she hasn't even left yet." Maria smiled lovingly as if the thought of Bella and Gabe-the-fucker made her tingle all over. _Why didn't Bella tell me? Did she lie to me about the errand? _The delicious pancakes that I was savoring just moments ago suddenly tasted like cardboard. _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

I had to get out of here. I had to do something to get my mind off of Bella spending her precious time with Gabriel the prick. I didn't want to be around anyone right now but maybe Esme's idea won't be so bad. It would probably do me good to walk around Seattle and distract myself for the day. "I guess I'll be tagging along with you and Aunt Renee after all." I said dejectedly at Esme, forcing a smile on my face. Esme's face lit up and Renee started to gather up the paperwork in front of her.

"That's great, dear. We'll be leaving shortly." I took that time to finish my breakfast and forced it down my throat practically choking myself in the process. _Fuck it! _I was so furious I wanted to hit something. I tried to calm myself down counting to myself, _one-motherfucker, two-motherfucker_, _I'm-going-to-kill-that-motherfucker..._ My leg was shaking angrily under the table I had to hold it down.

I was just about done with my breakfast when Renee informed us that the farewell party she's having tomorrow evening was all set and confirmed. Apparently, a small farewell gathering of a 100-guest that she originally planned ended up to be a party of 300. _Only Renee. _She also mentioned that the 1st mover will be arriving shortly today to pick up the boxes that was packed yesterday, as well as, some of the furniture.

Renee is having the NY property professionally designed and decorated so not all the furniture will be moved as the Swan residence in Forks will be kept as a vacation home. Within the next 3 days, the cars will be picked up to be transported to the East Coast. And in a few days time we will be leaving for New York. All of us. Including my Bella. _Woopee doo! _I couldn't help but feel my heart jump for joy at the thought of taking Bella away from here soon! Just then I found myself smiling smugly and almost feeling better.

_Alfuckingmost._

Even though the thought of being out of here soon was all good, the fact that Bella spending time with that pathetic pup for a day still didn't ease my mind altogether.

_Whatever. S_till, within 72 hours I will finally have Bella with me to New York. _All to myself. _

With that final thought, I got up to get ready to leave for Seattle with Esme and Renee.

_This is going to be a long ass day._

~o~

The day dragged like a motherfucker. Esme and Renee must have visited every shops in Seattle and I felt like an idiot just following them like a fucking lost puppy.

_Pathetic_.

All the while my mind kept wandering to Bella and what she was doing right at that moment. _And here I thought I was going to be distracted. Psshh!_

By the time we pulled up back in the Swan's driveway it was already nightfall. I actually found myself getting excited as we drove back to Forks hoping, no - _praying_, that Bella was back already. I told myself that I would totally let today slide and not give her shit as long as she's back by the time we got back to her house. I couldn't help but feel anxious as I put the car on park. Once I turned the ignition off, I booked out of the car towards the house so fucking fast you'd think I had some sort of vampire speed.

_Please be home. Please be home. Please be home._

"Hey Maria, is Bella back home yet?" Maria was in the kitchen busy preparing dinner when I entered. I was literally panting, my eyes twinkled with excitement at the thought of seeing Bella's beautiful face again.

"No, honey, she's not back yet." She looked up at me smiling sadly as my heart plummeted. I sighed heavily, my spirit sank and my shoulders slumped. "Oh." I pouted, looking like a dejected five year old whose ice cream was stolen by a stray dog.

"Don't worry, kiddo, she called just a few minutes ago and said that she's on her way home."

_Yes!_

I turned away to head towards the theater room, one of my favorite part of the Swan residence, just as Renee and Esme walked in giving me a frustrated look. "Edward, did you forget your manners? You ran out of the car so fast you forgot to give us a hand with our shopping bags."

"I'm sorry, mom. I'll go grab the rest from the car." By the time I finished bringing the shopping bags in, Charlie was pulling up on the driveway.

I finally plopped myself down on one of the recliners in the theater room and flipped through the channels trying to find something good to watch. The theater room was painted in dark mahogany on three walls with the fourth wall made entirely of glass with thick retractable mahogany velvet curtain for privacy. It was filled with the top of the line media entertainment system, a DVD library, 10 theater-style recliners, an 8-seater sofa resting on the back wall and a 150 inch plasma screen.

Within a few minutes I saw Charlie through the glass wall making his way to the theater room. "Hey, Edward. How are you son?" Charlie greeted as he stood by the glass door frame.

I rarely saw Charlie. He's often out and usually never home. I was almost sure it was just to avoid Renee. Their marriage have always been this way from what I remembered as a kid. Even then when I was five, he never stayed home and I never saw him when I would stay over at their house. Bella didn't have much of a relationship with her father since she practically never saw him. I'm actually surprised that he and Renee made it this far in their marriage. "Hey Uncle Charlie, I'm good. Out playing golf today?" I asked knowing that it's usually what he did on the weekends or whenever possible.

"Yeah. Since I only have a couple of days left in Forks, I figured I might as well make the most of it." He said in a regretful tone. "I'm sure dad is looking forward to playing golf with you when you get to New York." Carlisle also had a passion for golf and the two men usually went out to play together whenever they had a chance. After a few more exchanges, Charlie retired in his study. He always either locked himself in his study or he was out somewhere. Either way, no one rarely saw him.

I was preoccupied going through the movie library since there was nothing good to watch on TV when out of my peripheral vision I thought I saw a figure with long brown hair across the hall outside of the theater room. I looked up and my heart skipped a beat. There, in the other room leading to the kitchen was Bella, her back was on me and it looked as if she was speaking to someone that was obstructed from my view. I walked out of the theater room and made my way towards her. "..the market and –" she was talking animatedly to Maria who was hidden from my view and didn't notice me coming.

I wanted nothing more than to launch at her and take her in my arms at that moment. I fucking missed her so much today that I almost forgot my anger about her disappearing act. "Hey, Bella." She jumped at the sound of my voice and turned around to look at me. Her hand grabbing her throat, "God Edward, you scared me!" She hissed.

I gazed at her and soaked in every contour of her beautiful face that I missed seeing so much in the past few hours. "So, did you get some errands done?" My voice dripping with sarcasm and my brow knitting together in a frown. I couldn't help it. I was so hurt that she didn't tell me she had plans to spend time with Gabriel.

"Oh, uh, yeah about that.. Actually Edward, I ended up spending my day in Seattle with Gabe." I could tell she felt guilty, she wouldn't look me in the eye and she kept fidgeting. She sighed and gestured for me to follow her as she turned and walked towards the patio doors that lead to the back of the house.

"Dinner will be ready soon kids." Maria called out to us as we made our way out.

The night air smelt clean, of trees, and gave off a calming aura. The pool light was on and was radiating from the blue chlorined water, giving it a glowing effect. There were various Italian marble statues and antique lamp posts that illuminated around the Olympic-sized roman style pool. There were also large topiaries wrapped with tiny Christmas lights that stood like guards on both sides of the patio doors. The surrounding was so beautiful and serene and I'm pretty sure this was one of Bella's favorite part of the house. I know it was definitely mine.

Renee really knew how to splurge. The landscaping that surrounded the property was nothing but incredible.

Bella and I settled ourselves on the lounge chairs from across the pool. She avoided looking at me and kept her gaze out in the distant looking as if she was deep in thought. "Edward, I'm sorry about today." She looked down at her hands that was resting on her lap. "I just needed to clear my mind and I did owe Gabe some time before I leave Forks." She said quietly and finally looked up at me. I held her gaze and reached out for her hand. I wanted nothing more than to hug her at that moment and nuzzle my face in her long beautiful hair. "I missed you." I said quietly.

Her eyes glazed over and something in her expression changed. I wasn't quite sure what it was but she kept quiet and just continued to stare at me. "I missed you too." She smiled her dimpled smile. I couldn't help but unleash my crooked smile in return.

"Edward, I think it's about time we talked." She said smiling nervously now, "about u-us, I mean."

My heart started to race, my mind running a 100 miles per hour. This conversation could only end in two ways, make us closer or ruin me altogether. "Ok." I said taking a deep breath and running my fingers through my hair.

"I-I don't know where to begin honestly. I have been holding back from saying anything about my feelings hoping that the unspoken words would make things easier for both of us." She started fidgeting nervously again and I squeezed her hand that I was still holding, encouraging her to continue. "Edward, I don't know why I feel the way that I do about you. My mind has been screaming at me, telling me it's wrong and that I would go to hell for this. But the more I deny it..." She stopped and sighed heavily as she looked down on our intertwined hands.

I looked up to check if anyone could see us from inside of the house. I had to be careful and make sure no one was watching us. I didn't think it would look good if Renee or Charlie saw me sitting so unusually close to Bella and holding her hand the way I did at that moment.

I stood up and pulled her up on her feet. I kept her hand in mine as I lead her away from the house towards the gazebo. The gazebo was located further away from the house overlooking the pond and was hidden behind a couple of willow trees. It was a very romantic part of the garden and perfect for the conversation that Bella and I was finally about to have.

In the middle of the pavilion structure was a huge and luxurious patio swing that looked more like a 'hanging bed'. It had a distressed red wooden frame which was held by four extra thick ropes holding it from the four corners. The thick cushion and the lot of throw pillows sitting on it had matching brown, teal and moss green fabric. The swing was big enough to fit two people to lie on it comfortably.

I sat Bella and I down on the swing as I positioned myself so that we were facing each other. My hand reached out to caress her cheek, never breaking eye contact. Bella's breathing became ragged and the air between us was thick. I cupped her face in my hands and moved closer until our foreheads were touching. "Bella.." I breathe out her name. "I would be willing to go to hell and back for you.." Her lips parted slowly, her sweet breath blowing on my face and hitting me like a ton of bricks. I needed to be closer to her. "Bella, please.." I said softly, our lips only breathes away from each other, "..please give us a chance. Give me a chance to show you.. I can be strong for both of us and I'm yours if you'll have me.." I closed my eyes and slowly, ever so slowly, our lips met, grazing against each other softly. Her lips were so soft, I've kissed numerous women in the past, but hers, I've never felt anything like it before. Our kiss started off hesitantly but soon enough, our lips started to move together in synchrony. Her hand reached up and balled into a fist clutching onto my hair pulling me closer to her.

"Edward.." she whispered against my lips. She smelled and tasted so amazingly sweet it was intoxicating. Our kisses were soft and our love poured into it that no words were necessary at that moment. Her kisses said everything.

_She loves me. She loves me. SHE LOVES ME._

"I love you…" I whispered the words against her lips. I heard her gasp and I slowly opened my eyes to find her gazing at me.

Soon, too soon, we pulled away. I couldn't wipe off the huge grin on my face it started to hurt. I could feel her heart beating so hard it felt as if it was my own. My heart was no better, it was racing so fast it felt like it would burst out of my chest. A faint smile ghosted on her lips and she looked intently at me, her eyes brimming with love. I reached out to caress her hair with my palm as I waited for our breathing to calm down.

"So… you do love me.." I said teasingly, giving her a crooked smile. She nodded minutely and chuckled shyly, her arms snaked around my waist as she snuggled against my chest, holding me ever so tightly. I leaned my cheek on the top of her head as I held her against me.

I was in heaven.

"What do we do now?" Her voice sounded muffled against my chest. I could feel her breathing in my scent. I sighed and her pulled away slightly so I can look into her eyes. "We take it slow," I pulled her away so I can look into her eyes, my hands cradling her face, "we act the same way in front of everyone. We can't let anyone know. Everything will be ok. I promise." I smiled warmly at her as she nodded and sighed.

"Edward," she said hesitantly, "if Charlie ever finds out, he'd kill both of us. And Renee would disown me either that or she'll send me away. You don't know what she's capable of doing."

I pulled her in a tight hug and held her in my arms, "We'll be careful. I will never let anything or anyone hurt you. And no one will take you away from me. I will always protect you." I promised.

Bella and I just stood there holding each other for what seemed like forever. Eventually, we had to leave our own blissful world and decided to head back to the house before someone started looking for us. When we were only steps away from the door, I stopped and turned her to face me. I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead and let my kiss linger for as long as I could.

"I love you..."

I had to tell her again before we entered the house. When we stepped out of her house earlier, we were two people connected by blood, two people trying to make sense of one of life's sick little games. Now as we prepared to re-enter for the first time, we were two people ready to face the joke that fate as befallen upon us. Now we were two people in love. Two people who will do everything and anything to fight for what we have become to one another. And I had to let Bella know how much she meant to me every way I can, as much as I can. If this is what will give her strength each time we have to play our charade, then be it.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. During dinner I would feel Bella's eyes on me whenever no one was looking, I, on the other hand, found myself sneaking looks her way as well. It was almost fun knowing that Bella and I now had our own little secret. A secret that was so forbidden in this world and our society that if revealed would affect and hurt a lot of the people we love.

This, I realized, was how things would be like for me and Bella from now on. A mask will always have to be worn, a charade played by both of us for those who will never accept the love that Bella and I shared.

It was just the beginning and I knew the situations would get harder as we went along. But it didn't matter. Well, it did, but I was willing to play any role I had to knowing that unbeknownst to anyone, she's mine.. Her heart belonged to me and mine only hers.

During the middle of the night, I found myself sleepless and decided to sneak in to Bella's room. I had to talk to her. I needed to see her and be close to her. It was already 1:00 in the morning and I found myself creeping my way into the hallways towards Bella's bedroom. I knocked softly and when I didn't hear any movement from inside her room, I slowly and quietly turned the knob. Thank god it was unlocked. I opened her door and slipped in quietly. Bella's room wasn't completely dark, the faint light from the nightlight against one of the walls illuminated her bedroom, giving it a warm and romantic effect. I walked towards her bed and I could see the silhouette of her body under the sheets. She was lying on her side, her face towards me, her hair fanned above her head on her pillow. She looked like an angel. _My angel._

I sat on the edge of her bed carefully, trying not to wake her. I wanted to take that time just to watch her. I could do this all night. Just watching Bella sleep. My hand must have had a mind of it's own as it decided to reach out and caress her cheek softly. Soon enough my body decided to follow suit and found myself lying next to her, my head propped up on my hand while laying on my side. Her breathing was soft and even and her lips parted slightly. _I had to taste her again. I wanted to feel her lips against mine so badly._

Slowly I leaned in towards her. I breathe in her sweet breath, her lips calling to me. I closed my eyes as my lips brushed against hers ever so softly. Bella uttered a soft moan and leaned in to me unconsciously. I couldn't help the smile that ghosted on my lips. I leaned in to her again, my weight rested on my forearm and my other hand snaking it's way to her curvy waist. _She smelled so fucking good. _I felt my now hard length twitch, Little Edward was starting to get a little too excited. I leaned in further, closer, this time planting a firmer kiss on her lips. I felt her own lips moved slightly against mine. I slowly opened my eyes to find hers fluttering open. "Edward..?" She whispered against my lips, her eyes slightly confused as she tried to absorb her surroundings.

"Hi, beautiful." I whispered and smiled, my lips brushing hers as I spoke. She moved slightly and laid on her back so that I was now hovering over her. My other hand resting now on her stomach. The bottom of her shirt rode up and I could feel her exposed skin as my thumb slowly caressed the soft spot below her bellybutton, drawing patterns of small circles.

"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly as she lifted her hand to caress my cheek. "I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be with you."

She sighed and smiled her dimpled smile. She laced her hand around my neck and pulled me closer. My lips met hers and lightly grazed with the softest touch. I then felt her lips parted, inviting me to deepen our kiss. But I wanted to tease her so I moved my lips softly at the length of her jaw line to her neck sending chills down her spine.

"So beautiful." I murmured as I continued to kiss my way along her collarbone. I lightly traced my fingers up her arm until my hand cupped her face, pulling her closer to me. "Do you love me?" I asked as my lips touched hers once again. My mind racing, unable to wrap the thought of her underneath me. Her body pressing close to mine.

"Do you love me..?" I repeated into her mouth. "I want to hear you say it." My voice deep and husky.

Her body trembled underneath me, her eyes hooded with lust. "I love you.." She whispered softly against my lips. My hand fisted on the back of her hair as I pulled her back up to my lips, this time kissing her fiercely. My tongue grazed her bottom lip, requesting entrance as she happily obliged. Our tongues danced together, beautifully, as if kissing her was the most natural thing in the world.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." I spoke the words into her mouth. I could feel her nails digging into my skin as she moaned my name.

"Edward…"

Suddenly we heard a thump outside in the hallway. We jerked away from each other trying not to make any noise as we listened intently. My heart started racing and beating against my chest. We were frozen in our position for what seemed like hours, just waiting and listening, trying to figure out what had caused the noise.

After what seemed like hours, still nothing.

When finally we felt it was safe, I let out a breath that I was holding. Bella, too, seemed to relax and once again moved closer to snuggle up against me.

I held her in my arms for a little while longer, my nose nuzzled in her hair.

"I think maybe I should go back to my room before someone catches me in here." I looked into her eyes and saw a hint of sadness in them. I pulled her closer to me and kissed her again. This time our kisses were soft and full of love, our tongues only grazing each other ever so softly. She sighed into my mouth as I pulled away slowly.

"Good night, love. I will see you tomorrow." I said as I gave her one last kiss on her forehead.

"Good night, Edward." She mumbled.

I tiptoed my way out of her room and back into the guestroom, all the while wondering what had caused the sound a moment ago.

Once back in my room, I found my eyes closing almost immediately as soon as my head touched the pillow. Bella's beautiful face was the last thing that lingered in my mind before I completely drifted off into a blissful slumber.

_She loves me._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:**

**Truly sorry for the delay. Been pretty busy this past week with last minute traveling. But here's our chapter 4. **

**I can't tell you yet who it was that made the noise in the hallway as it is one of the focal points in the story. **

**To all my reviewers, ****who has me on their ****story alerts and their faves, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. Please show me some more love as it totally guilts me into updating in spite of my busy schedule and making my story more delicious.. ******

**The chapter playlist is:**

**Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung**

**Broken by Lifehouse  
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**www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/17472572427/standalone**

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**Chapter 4 - The Pain of Reality  
**

**BPOV**

The following morning found me in a house buzzing with event coordinators and party planners running all over the place trying to prepare the house for the farewell party that Renee was crazy enough to have. It was almost laughable that in spite of our already hectic schedule, she still found the time to plan for an event. Friends from all over Olympic Peninsula, Seattle, Portland and Oregon will be attending. One would think we're moving out of the country with the way everything was going.

Edward and I tried to help as much as they would allow us but seem to only get in everyone's way. Eventually, we decided to take us out of the picture and do something else to pass the time until it was time to prepare for the evening. I owed Edward a beach day and so I thought this was the perfect time to do it.

As I changed in a more appropriate beachwear back in my room, I couldn't help but feel giddy with how things have progressed between Edward and I. All throughout the time I spent with Gabriel yesterday Edward was in the forefront of my mind. The talk I had with Maria also seemed to have helped me tremendously see our situation in a different light.

_Who's to say our love is wrong?_

_Didn't man populated firstly through incest with Adam and Eve's children?_

Sometime during my time away from Edward yesterday, I realized that the longer I denied my feelings or avoid them, the more difficult things seemed to get and the harder I can't see myself going in a direction where Edward wasn't involved. I realized that maybe it's time I faced the music per se and deal with our situation the only way my heart would allow me to. To give us a chance and see where it would lead us.

I do love Edward, I came to realize within the past few days that I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. The funny thing is, in spite of being apart for 11 years, the bond that we've always had as kids have always stayed in tact and now even stronger, our connection stronger and our bond impenetrable.

When I first laid my eyes on him this morning, my whole body was literally twitching to jump him and hold him in my arms. I couldn't help but suppress the giddiness that I felt knowing that he loves me.

He's so beautiful and he loves me!

If our situation were under different circumstances, everything about us and our love for each other would have been perceived as perfect through everyone's eyes.

I can't help but think back to last night when he snuck into my room. It was such a wonderful surprise to find him in my bed. Kissing Edward was indescribable. How anyone can show all their love through a kiss was beyond me. I never thought it was possible for a kiss to say so much, but that's how I felt. Words were unnecessary with his kisses. I can't help but compare how I felt kissing Gabriel and kissing Edward. I loved Gabriel, but my love for Edward is beyond anything I've ever felt for anyone and Edward's kisses were out of this world.

Unfortunately, in spite of all the wonderful feelings that surrounds me and Edward, I at times find myself pondering at the reality of our situation. As much as Edward makes me happy, as much as I want to move forward with him, I couldn't help but fear what's in store for us in the future. Questions have been in the forefront of my mind, questions that only time will have answers for.

_How will all this work out of us?_

_Will there ever be a time with just me and Edward, living freely to show our affection for each other in public?_

As I changed into my cut off denim shorts, white spaghetti straps tank and bathing suit underneath, I couldn't help but sigh.

For the first time in my life, I felt unsure of my future. In spite of my relationship with my parents, I've always been sure of what kind of future I would be leading for myself. I always knew that my relationships won't be anything like how my mom and dad's relationship is like. I always knew what I wanted to do with my life, what I wanted to go to school for when I go to college and even where I would want to settle down when I'm finally on my own. Everything has been laid out for me, the way I've always planned it. But now, now that I have Edward in my life, for the first time I feel confused and unsure.

As I was pulling my hair up in loose pigtails, I heard a soft knock on my door. "Come in…" I called out from my bathroom.

I heard my bedroom door open and close and when I looked up, Edward was leaning against the door frame of my bathroom, his arms crossed over against his chest . His eyes sparkling as he carefully looked me over.

"You look beautiful." He said quietly as he walked over, his arms snaking around my waist and holding me close to him. I breath in his wonderful scent and rested my head against his chest feeling my cheeks blush. I felt his lips on the top of my head and sighed.

"Are you ready?" I asked as I looked up at him. He smiled crookedly and nodded. "I can't wait to have you all to myself, even if it's just for a couple of hours." I smiled warmly at him as his eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. His hand reached up to cup my cheek as he slowly moved his face closer to mine. My heart started racing as I felt his lips brushed against mine. I felt his tongue trace the bottom of my lip requesting entrance as I happily obliged. My hands slowly made it's way up to wrap around his neck and pulled him closer. Our kisses deepened as a sexy moan escaped from Edward's lips that caused shivers down my spine. His moan had to be the most erotic sound I have ever heard and it has become one of my most favorite sounds. He pulled me closer and I could feel every part of his lean body against mine. His lips started to trail hot kisses along my jaw line and down to my neck. "Bella…" he whispered, his voice thick and husky. I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips, calling to him, "Edward.." I breathed out.

I want him. I've never wanted anyone so much as I wanted this man in my arms. I've never been with anyone physically and to want Edward this way is the most frightening and most exciting feeling I've ever felt.

I slowly pulled away so that I can look into his eyes. "I think we should go." I said softly. He sighed and pulled me back in for a tight hug. His face nuzzled in the crook of my neck. "I love you..," he whispered. "I love you so much, Bella." I leaned in to him as I held him closer. We held each other as if for comfort for a few more minutes.

"I love you too, but I think we really should go or else we won't have much time for fun before we have to endure this painfully ridiculous party." I said chuckling. He straightened up and tugged on one of my pigtails. "Let's go, cousin…" he said playfully, a mischievous smile ghosting on his lips.

"Ugh! Edward, don't.." I said sounding frustrated at the reminder of our kinship.

"I'm sorry, baby." He said softly, regretting the reminder of our situation.

"It's ok. Just don't remind me, ok?" I smiled up hesitantly. "It's just that, it's hard enough as it is and I'm trying to get through _us_ the best way I can."

He smiled back at me and nodded. "I won't play that way again. Promise." He lifted his hand and made a sign of the cross against his chest and I couldn't help but laugh.

I took his hand and tugged on it, "Let's just go, you goofball."

Before heading out we stopped by the kitchen where Renee and Esme were talking to the event coordinator. I prepared some sandwiches, fruits, an assortment of cheeses and grabbed some drinks and put it in a cooler. "Hey mom, Edward and I are just going to step out for a bit, ok? We'll be back before the party starts."

"Ok, honey, but make sure to be back on time. I have some friends that are coming who wants to meet you." I frowned and wondered who those friends of hers could be but didn't ask. "Ok, mom. Bye, Aunt Esme."

Edward and I made our way to the garage and got in my Escalade. I usually use my SUV when going through rough roads and the way to the beach will definitely not be good for my Beamer. As I backed out of the garage and made my way out of the driveway Edward decided to play the '20 questions' game.

After a few goofy and silly questions, his questions started to turn a different direction.

"So, how many boyfriends have you had?" He asked.

"Hmm, I'm going to need to borrow your fingers since mine is not enough." I said seriously as I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.

"What the fuck? Are you kidding me? What, did you start having boyfriends as soon as I left?!?" He practically yelled incredulously.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at his expression, my sides started to hurt.

"I…was…kid..ding..!"

I must have laughed for 5 minutes and when I looked back at Edward, he was staring at me and still had that same look on his face. I slowly calmed down and tried to make my voice sound serious again. "I can't believe you actually believed me. What's wrong with you?" I said trying to stifle my giggles but failing miserably.

"Don't play like that, I almost believed you, geez!" He said shaking his head.

"Ok, my turn.." We were now coming up the road by the coastline, the view is breathtaking. "What was the longest relationship you ever had?" I asked as I briefly looked into his eyes.

"2 years." He answered nonchalantly.

"Yours?" He asked.

"The same." I responded as I thought about Gabriel and the two fun years we had together. I couldn't help but smile.

As I looked at Edward again I noticed the change in his expression. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked curious with the sudden change in his demeanor. He seemed angry and sad and I wondered what brought that on.

"Nothing." He looked out of his window, the beautiful ocean reaching out as far as the eye can see. I love driving on this part of the Olympic Peninsula. It's unfortunate that due to the weather it was rare that I get to enjoy the beach.

"Did you love him?" He asked but still kept his gaze on the ocean.

"Yes, but that's given since we were together for a long time. Gabe is a good guy." I said quietly, "I actually thought he and I would end up even being together until college or even beyond that if we didn't decide to move." I chuckled softly.

Edward then turned to look me in the eyes. His expression was a mixture of sadness and pain. I reached out to touch his hand and comfort him, not knowing what was going on in his mind.

"Edward, you ok? What's wrong?"

He looked down on our hands and sighed, "I just wished I had all those years to be with you." He said, his voice with a hint of sadness.

"Hey, we're together now," I tugged on his hand playfully and smiled, "and we'll have more to come."

A smile ghosted on his lips and nodded, "You're right and I can't wait."

We finally reached La Push beach and I parked on the isolated parking area. The weather was cloudy but there was no sign of rain.

I put the SUV on park and took off my seatbelt eager to feel the sand on my toes. "Let's go!"

I got out of my side of the car and opened the back door to grab the cooler. Edward walked around to where I was and grabbed the cooler from my hand. I climbed back in the backseat and reached in to grab some blankets and hopped back out.

Edward reached for my free hand and we walked down to the beach together. We found a remote spot under a tree within a 100 feet away from the water and laid down our blankets. The beach was empty which was nice. I remember spending most of my summers on this beach either alone or with Gabriel. I'm surely going to miss this part of home.

Edward and I settled on the blankets and I opened the cooler and took out our lunch. "It's so nice out here. Do you come here a lot?" He asked gazing into the water.

"Yeah, this is one of my favorite places. During summer I usually spend a lot of time here, weather permitted of course." I reached out for a sandwich and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He smiled as he opened the wrapper. "Do you go to the beach a lot in NY?" I asked curious if this is something he usually did when he's at home.

"Not so much. The beaches in NY, unless in the Hamptons or further down in the New Jersey shoreline, are usually very crowded during the summer."

We spent the rest of the afternoon walking along the shoreline hand in hand, giving each other kisses affectionately and laying on the blanket just talking and catching up. Right at that moment, we felt so free being together as if it was always meant to be. As if it was the most natural thing in the world. We felt like normal couples doing what normal couples usually did. Being together with no worries in the world, no worries that someone would catch us and would judge us for loving each other the way we do.

I couldn't help but look at Edward and think of how perfect it is to be with him, how perfect it would be to live some place where no one knows us and our true connection, some place where we can live freely together as lovers. But for now, having him this close to me during our stolen moments is something I know I would be looking forward to until we find a way to be together completely.

One of my favorite past time when coming to the beach is collecting shells. Edward found a few uniquely shaped and beautiful shells that we added in our collection. A couple of times when I wasn't looking and least expect it, Edward would scoop me up in his arms and carry me off to the beach, throwing both of us in the cold water. To say that I was annoyed was an understatement but Edward seemed to get a kick out of my reaction each time.

By 5:00 we decided to head back home to get ready. Edward drove back home as I relaxed on the passenger's seat. As I connected my ipod to the radio, Edward reached out and held my hand in his.

I put on Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung and I couldn't help but think about Edward and how much I will now be living for each finite secret time alone we get to spend together. I couldn't help but hope that we would have more of these times together without bringing suspicions to anyone when we get to NY.

_I never understood before  
I never knew what love was for  
My heart was broke, my head was sore  
What a feeling_

"I had such a wonderful time at the beach." He said squeezing my hand. "Me too." I smiled.

_Tied up in ancient history  
I didnt believe in destiny  
I look up you're standing next to me  
What a feeling_

"Do you think we'll be able to have more time alone when we get to NY?" I asked looking down on our hands.

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
Brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, i don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine  
And it's brighter than sunshine_

He squeezed my hand and let it go only to lift it to caress my cheek. "I will make sure we do. I promise." He said lovingly and I couldn't help but feel my heart soar.

_I never saw it happening  
I'd given up and given in  
I just couldn't take the hurt again  
What a feeling_

_I didn't have the strength to fight  
Suddenly you seemed so right  
Me and you  
What a feeling_

At that moment I couldn't ask for anything more. Just the thought of having Edward by my side wherever we maybe, regardless of our situation, regardless of the limited time we get to spend with each other, that's all enough for me for now.

_Love will remain a mystery  
But give me your hand and you will see  
Your heart is keeping time with me_

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall, I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine_

_I got a feeling in my soul ..._

Within 20 minutes we were pulling up on my driveway. People were still running in and out of my house bringing in stuff and god-knows-what in preparation for the evening. Edward put the car in park, turned off the ignition and turned to look at me. He smiled and moved closer. He kissed me softly on the forehead and as he pulled away his hand lifted to caress my hair. I couldn't help but lean into it.

"Thank you for spending time with me today." He whispered. I smiled and grabbed his hand.

"We should go in. Renee will throw a fit if we're not ready soon." I said as I reached out to open my door.

When Edward and I walked inside the house, to say I was shocked was an understatement. From where we were standing by the kitchen, we could see the garden. A huge white canopy stood on the lawn before the pond. Thousands of strings of little white Christmas lights hung in the air that reached out from the back of the house to the huge white canopy giving off an illusion of millions of twinkling stars and giving the now transformed garden a very romantic setting. Topiaries also stood everywhere in the garden wrapped in twinkling Christmas lights as well.

I stepped out of the kitchen and headed towards the marquee to see how the canopy looked inside with Edward on my heel. As we walked inside the canopy, I couldn't help but gasp at the sight in front of me. The smell of flowers wafted strongly around us as soon as we entered. The inside of the canopy had round tables dressed in cream and gold table linens and beautiful huge flower centerpieces made up of white roses, lilies, jasmines and baby pink hyacinths. The chairs had elegant satin chair covers with huge matching gold bows on the back. Lighted tall topiaries stood every 10 feet away from each other against the canopy wall and 3 huge crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. I couldn't help but think of The Father of the Bride's wedding reception only Renee seemed to have out done that movie ten fold.

"Unbelievable.." is all I could utter. "It's like as if we're having a wedding reception and not a stupid farewell party." I added incredulously, my eyes bugging out.

Edward just shook his head from side to side also in awe of what Renee has done. "Wow." He muttered.

"Oh good, you two are finally here." Renee said, bringing me and Edward out of our tranced state. I turned to Renee, my mouth still hanging open. "Mom, what have you done?!?" I asked my head shaking from side to side.

"What? You don't like it?" She looked around and shrugged, "I was hoping to get a more elaborate decoration but we just simply didn't have enough time to prepare.

Edward and I looked at each other and bursted out laughing at what she just said. "More…ela..bo..rate!!" I said trying to say the words in between my giggles. "Mom, are you crazy?!?" I still couldn't stop laughing.

"Isabella, don't make fun of your mother. You know how much I enjoy holding parties and to tell you the truth this is nothing." She said sounding annoyed. "Just wait until it's your wedding. You wouldn't know what hit you." At that comment Edward stiffened and stopped laughing altogether. I tried not to look at him and just stared at my crazy mother. "What wedding, mom?!?" I almost yelled, now it was my turn to feel annoyed.

"Oh, sweetie," she reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, "I have been planning for your wedding for years now. I already have people on stand by just waiting for the grand event and when your prince charming finally enters your life, you will have the most beautiful wedding in the world." She said dreamily.

I just stared at her dumbstruck, not knowing how to respond, literally not finding the right words to respond.

"Err, w-we're going to get ready now, mom." I said quietly as I shook my head slowly trying to wrap my head around what she just said. I grabbed Edward by the hand, who also seemed to be going through some emotional breakdown, and turned to walk towards the house.

"Ok, honey. I want you to look presentable. I already had your outfit brought up in your room. I can't wait for you to meet some friends of mine tonight." She gushed as she turned away to the opposite direction.

Edward and I walked back towards the house quietly. We made our way up to the second floor still unsure of what to say to each other. When we reached the door of my bedroom Edward grabbed me by the wrist and turned me to look at him. We gazed at each other, Edward's eyes brimming with emotions. "Bella…" He whispered and looked down on the floor. "I..I.."

"Edward, sweetie, don't mind my mom.." I said knowing now what he's thinking and feeling. "She's delusional. Don't, ok?" I tugged on his hand and lead him inside my room and closed the door.

I pulled him closer to me so I could hold him in my arms. I needed to comfort him. To let him know that no one will ever take me away from him.

"I can't lose you.." He whispered, his face nuzzled my hair as he held me tight.

"You won't." I pulled away slowly as I looked him straight in the eyes. "Nothing that Renee can do will ever take me away from you. Do you hear me?" I said with a firm voice willing him to believe me.

Again he pulled me to him. I felt him nod his head slowly and sighed.

"I think we should get ready now." We finally pulled away from each other but still holding each other's hands. He smiled and gave me a chaste kiss.

"I'll see you in a few." He said as he turned to open my door.

Once he was out of my room I couldn't help but take a deep breath and think about what my mother had just informed me.

_She's been planning my wedding? _

_How long?_

_Wedding to whom?_

_Is she crazy?!?_

Suddenly, anxiety washed over me at the thought of what Renee could be planning.

_She wouldn't set me up with someone, would she?_

I shook my head as if to erase all these crazy thoughts out of my head. I turned to make my way towards the bathroom to take a shower.

I have a feeling tonight will end up being crazier than Renee's last minute party planning.

~ o ~

**EPOV**

I made my way to my room to get ready for the evening. It had been such an unbelievably perfect day with Bella until we got back to the Swan residence.

Now that Bella and I have declared our feelings for each other, our time we get to spend alone has become more special. Every second that I am with her, free to show her just how much I love her without holding back, is pure bliss and something that I treasure.

Thinking back to all those years that we were apart makes me wonder if things would have stayed the same between us as it is now if we didn't move. Either way, it saddens me to think that we could have spent more time with each other all those years if Carlisle and Esme didn't decide to move from Forks.

As I stepped in the shower and the hot water started to run down my body, I thought back to what Renee had said.

_She has been planning for Bella's wedding._

The thought of someone taking Bella away from me caused my heart to ache immeasurably. I literally felt as if the walls were closing in on me and the air physically being sucked out of me. If Renee is planning something, I have to find a way to take Bella away. I will not be able to live without Bella and her being wed to someone else would kill me.

I leaned my forehead and fists against the shower wall and tears started running down my cheeks. _I will die if Bella marries someone else. Just the mere thought of someone else holding her, touching her, kissing her and loving her freely for everyone to see kills me._

The reality of our situation, as much as Bella and I tries to overlook them, seem to find a way to make itself known. As if to constantly remind us just how complicated and difficult our future holds for us.

That must have been the longest shower I have ever taken, but eventually I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped in front of the mirror. My eyes are now bloodshot red from crying. I ran my fingers through my wet hair, my mind running a 100 miles a minute.

_I have to be stronger than this. For me and Bella's future, I have to stay strong. _

I always knew that being with Bella wasn't going to be easy. However, thinking it and actually living it are two different things. I am just now seeing how difficult things could really be. It's not so much the hiding and the pretending or playing a charade in front of everyone, it's more of the possibility of someone trying to take her away from me. Be it Renee, Charlie or some fucker that might come along to sweep her off her feet is what I fear the most.

_How can I fight for our future when I'm fighting behind everyone's back?_

The only thing I could hope for is that the love that Bella and I have for each other will just keep getting stronger. Strong enough that no one will ever be able to keep us apart.

Whoever said that love is easy? I always thought that _a love that is difficult is really wonderful _and I believe in what Bella and I have_._

Twenty minutes later, I was standing in front of a floor-length mirror in my room dressed in black dress pants, indigo blue dress shirt with a matching colored silk tie that brings out the color of my eyes, tonight leaning more towards gray. My hair is still a fucking mess but there's not much I can do about it and I refuse to even try.

I stepped out of my room and headed towards Bella's room. I knocked softly and waited for her to open the door. When she opened the door I gasped, I wasn't prepared for what was waiting for me.

My Bella. _So fucking beautiful._

"Bella…" was all I could utter. I noticed that being around Bella is starting to make look like an imbecile.

There she was, blushing and all in one of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen. The dress hung just above her knee in a soft and flowing material. I don't fucking know what kind of material but it's one of those light fabrics that could easily be blown by a slight breeze. What do girls call it? Chiffon, polyester? I don't fucking know and I don't really give a shit.

The color, antique rose, _don't ask me how I fucking know,_ compliments her slightly tanned skin and her ever blushing cheeks.

And her breast.

_Oh god, her breast. So fucking perfect and utterly delicious. _

Her baby doll spaghetti strap dress hugs her curves in all the right places perfectly accentuating her beautiful breasts. The light material overlaying the tighter material that hugged closer to her body flowed freely, giving her a very innocent and delicate look. The upper part of the dress covering her breasts was heavily beaded adding a very sophisticated look to the whole ensemble.

Half of her hair were pinned up with stunning crystal barrettes and the rest fell across her back in soft curls. Her make-up, if she even had any, was very natural with the exception of the lip gloss she wore that made her lips look so fucking juicy and kissable.

"Bella, you are so utterly beautiful, baby." I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her back in her room pushing her against the closed door. I crushed my lips against hers forcefully and hungrily.

She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me closer. My tongue brushed against her bottom lip and as she allowed me entrance, I thought my knees would buckle. She tasted so delicious. Her tongue so warm and sweet. "Ohh, Bella…" I breathed in her mouth. "You look and taste so delicious." I whispered as I trailed kisses down her neck.

She sighed and I thought I heard her moan my name. "Edward.."

My lips crushed into her lips once again. Our lips dancing in synchrony, my now hard member brushing against her hips. She gasped and I pulled away to look into her eyes, my eyes brimming with lust. "Do you feel how much I want you?" My voice thick and full of desire. She blushed a delicious pink and looked away from me. I lifted my hand and placed it under her chin.

"Look at me, love." I turned her so that her eyes were looking into mine. "I love you and I have to be crazy not to want you the way that I do." I said softly as I placed a kiss on her lips, my hand softly caressing her side.

"I love you too, Edward. More than you know," she whispered against my lips. "..and if there's anyone I would want to be with physically, it's you."

I took in a sharp breath and held her tighter close to me. Little Eddie twitching for joy and practically doing the 'superbowl dance' in my now tight pants.

_She wants us, Edward! _

_Go Eddie, go Eddie! Gonna get some!_

I finally pulled away, adjusted myself discretely shutting up Little Eddie in the process and smiled crookedly, "Are you ready to party, my darling?"

She giggled and straightened up, brushing her dress to make sure it's not wrinkled. She tugged on my hand and turned to open the door.

Bella and I let go of our hands as we stepped out of her room, missing her touch almost instantly as we made our way downstairs.

Within an hour the Swan residence were brimming with guests. Bella and I stayed together the whole time as she mingled and I was introduced to her friends.

"Edward?!?" I turned to look at the voice that called my name. "Mike Newton?" Great. Who would have thought this jerk off is still around?

"How the hell are ya, man? Long time no see." Mike offered to shake my hand.

"I'm great. How have you been?" I asked not really wanting to know. Just then, Bella stepped in next to me with a smile on her face. "Hi, Mike." She greeted hesitantly.

"Bella, god, look at you." And he did. His blue eyes roaming my Bella from head to toe and slightly resting his gaze on her breast a little longer than necessary. I almost reached out and poked his fucking eyeballs out of its sockets.

_I'm giving you one second to take your eyes off of my Bella's goodies or you're leaving this place either cross-eyed or blind, fucker!_

I cleared my throat and duffus finally looked away from Bella's breasts, gazing into her eyes instead. "You look absolutely breathtaking." I knew there was a reason I hated this damnass since we were kids.

Bella blushed and averted her gaze, "Thanks, Mike." My Bella hates compliments more than anything and as I sensed her feeling uncomfortable, I grabbed her arm softly and turned to take her away from Mike the damnass. "See you later, Mike." I said as I lead Bella to the garden before damnass could stop us.

"Thanks, Edward." Bella turned to me slightly as we made our way outside the house. "Mike always just makes my skin crawl. I mean, he's a nice guy and all, I just always feel as if he's undressing me whenever he looks at me." She said shuddering at the thought.

Bella saying that almost made me turn back and pounce on that fucker to pulp! I always knew he had a thing for Bella even when we were kids. But I always hoped that he had moved away somewhere where he would be more appreciated and welcomed, like Irag, as long as he's far away from my Bella.

I lead her to the canopy where the food were being served. A small dance floor was set up in the middle of the marquee with a DJ playing some music. The dance floor were filling up with guests who seemed to be enjoying themselves.

As we got near the buffet table, I felt someone grab Bella by the waist and pulled her away from me. I turned quickly and found Gabriel holding Bella, her back against him as he whispered in her ear but loud enough for me to hear. "You look beautiful, sweetheart." His voice sounding seductive.

I almost reached out to pull his tongue out of his mouth and stomped on it with my Prada shoes. I breath in deeply. I could tell this was going to be a long night. I just stood there and glared at 'stuttering fucking John' trying to calm myself.

When he noticed me, he reached out a hand for a shake. "Hey, Edward, how's it hanging?"

_To the left, limp and shriveled, fucking pervert._

"Good." I shook his hand and handed Bella her plate.

Bella turned around to face him and he leaned closer to kiss her on the cheek. I closed my eyes and counted in my head.

_One motherfucker, two motherfucker…_

"Bella, honey," Just then Renee called out as she approached us with some of her guests, "I want you to meet some friends of mine."

Standing next to Renee was an older blond man, a slim, sophisticated looking woman, who I assume is the wife and a younger blond guy about our age, staring at Bella. Very intently.

"These are the Martins, and their son, James." She waved her hand to the 3 individuals and lastly to the younger man as she introduced them.

"It's very nice to finally meet you, Bella." The woman said as she moved closer to Bella giving her a hug. "Yes, we have heard so much about you." The older man smiled and nodded his head. "Our son, James, have been wanting to meet you as well."

James then stepped in closer to Bella and reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips, "It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, sweet Bella." He said seductively, his blue eyes never leaving hers. I wanted to knock his fucking teeth out.

Bella smiled awkwardly and pulled her hand away discretely. If she didn't do it, I would have pulled her hand away for her and used it to slap him across the face.

"It's nice to meet you all." Bella said as she smiled.

I cleared my throat and stepped in as I introduced myself, "Hi, I'm Edward." Reaching out to offer my hand to the older man and smiled at Mrs. Martin. James turned to look at me with a cold gaze and offered his hand to me in return.

"Oh yes, this is my nephew from NY." Renee introduced. "And this is Gabriel, Bella's friend." She said as she waved to fucker #1.

"By the way, Bella, the Martins are on vacation in Seattle but they're actually from NY as well and James will be going to the same school you'll be going to." Renee informed us as she turned to look at James with such affection. _What was that about?_

_Fuck no!_

"James, honey, why don't you and Bella go somewhere where you can get to know each other better.." Renee said practically shoving Bella to fucker #2.

Fucker #1 and I stiffened at Renee's suggestion for James to take Bella away from us. Fucker #1 is almost starting to look good in my books compared to fucker #2 at this rate. Almost.

"Mom, I haven't had dinner yet." Bella said and turned to James, "Would you mind if I have dinner first?"

"Of course not, beautiful. I will come and find you when you're done." And again, he lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles softly.

_One motherfucker, two motherfucker… By the time this night is over, I would have fucking memorized pi and then some._

Bella nodded graciously as the Martins made their way out of the canopy, leaving Renee standing next to us. "Bella, I'm going to the bar to get some drinks, would you like something?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes, please. Anything is fine."

As soon as Gabriel was gone, Renee turned to Bella. "Oh sweetie, I'm so happy you finally got to meet the Martins." She gushed as if meeting the Martins meant Iraq has finally declared world fucking peace.

"Mom, what's the big deal." Bella turned to make her way to grab some food, sounding annoyed.

"Honey, the Martins are a very prestigious family! They own hotel chains all over America and overseas and they own the very first 6 star hotel, not to mention the very first theme parks in Malaysia and Singapore."

Bella practically laughed at her mom's enthusiasm towards the Martins' wealth. "So what, mom. What does that have anything to do with me, with us?"

"Oh honey, this is my other birthday gift for you. James and you are practically betrothed to be married. I'm not at all worried that you won't like him since he is a very good looking boy."

_What the fuck??!?!?_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

I almost reached out, pulled Renee's hair out like a fucking bitch and strangled her right then and there.

_Is she fucking high? What drugs is this fucking woman on?!?!_

I mean, I love Renee and all, she's my aunt, but fucking shit, if she thinks she's going to marry Bella off to some creep, she doesn't know what was coming to her.

"Mom!!! Are you crazy?!?!!" Bella turned to her mother so abruptly practically dropping her plate of food. I grabbed her by the arm to steady and calm her down. But to be honest, I was just holding on to her to steady and calm myself down as my whole body was shaking and my blood was boiling.

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead_

_I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life_

"Bella, calm down!" Renee whispered yelled as she leaned closer to Bella so only us would hear,"The Martins, me and your father have been planning this since you and James were practically toddlers. James is a good kid, not to mention good looking and if you just give him a chance, I'm sure you'll agree that he will take care of you and provide you with a very comfortable and luxurious life. You would be very lucky to marry this kid."

My stomach churned and I could feel the bile coming up in my throat. I was utterly speechless. My blood leaving my face pale and my knees almost buckled at the thought of Bella being betrothed to marry someone else.

_What fucking century does this crazy woman think we live in??!??_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
with a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
_

"Aunt Renee…" I started to say, but nothing else would come out of my mouth. All I could do was stare at her as if she had grown a dick out of her head.

_Renee can't be fucking serious. She can't be. This is a fucking nightmare and I'll be waking up from it soon._

_Please God, don't do this. Don't make this harder than it already is for me and Bella._

_In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

Bella looked at me with pleading eyes, asking me to stay with her. She grabbed her mother by the arm and lead her out of the canopy with me on their heels. When we reached the gazebo, away from everyone's hearing range, Bella turned to face Renee.

"Mother, this is not funny. Don't do this to me!" Bella sounded angry and frustrated, her voice also had a hint of fear in it.

"Isabella, I will not joke about something like this. Someday you will thank me for doing this for you. When we get to NY, I want you to spend time with James and get to know him. You don't have to get married until you're ready, but you will give this boy a chance."

With that, she turned and walked away leaving me and Bella dumbstrucked.

Slowly, I turned to look into Bella's teary eyes, my own eyes feeling hot as the tears threatened to spill.

"No..." She whispered with pleading eyes gazing mine just as a tear rolled down her cheek.

_I'm hangin' on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will be ok_


	5. Chapter 5: Ticks and Horsefly

EPOV

The night of the party was a disaster. Well, I thought so anyway. After the revelation of Renee's future plans for Bella, Bella decided to lock herself up in her room leaving me alone in the gazebo or to mingle with the guests. _Fuck. I don't even know anyone here._ She was so upset and needed time alone and as much as I wanted to comfort her, she had requested for me to give her some time to herself.

I couldn't help but feel the anger and hatred for Renee at that moment. The fact that she would marry her only daughter off to someone Bella barely knew for money was beyond me! _Renee has totally finally lost it! _It's not like Renee nor Bella needed the money or that Bella needed to marry for money. Our family has as much money, if not probably even more than anyone I knew. Yet I can't help but wonder why and what could be the reason behind all this looney-ward-earning scheme of hers?

My mind couldn't wrap around the idea of seeing or even thinking of Bella dating another guy, worst being married to someone else! _I love her so much. More than I have ever loved anyone or would love anyone. I need her like I need air to breath and there's no way I would allow Renee to take my Bella away from me._

But what can I do? How can I fight for her without making the situation more difficult and complicated than it already is? How much longer do I have to prepare myself and Bella with what we'll have to face in order to keep our love? I'm barely only 18 and so is Bella.

Worst comes to worst, I can take Bella away as soon as we graduate from high school. I'm not sure how I will support her but fuck if I didn't try and do whatever I can to make this work for us.

I decided after a couple of hours to check on Bella. As I headed up to her room, I spotted Renee with that kid James looking around, I'm sure for Bella.

"Oh, there you are, Edward." Renee called out to me with James on her tail.

"What's up, Auntie Renee?"

"James here is looking for Bella, do you happen to know where she is?"

I glared at James and my hand twitched to punch him right on his fucking pretty face but held back.

"No, I haven't seen her. I'm sure she's just around here somewhere." Giving the sweetest smile I could muster for Renee and a scowl towards James when she wasn't looking, James just sizing me up in return.

"Hmm, ok sweetie. If you see her would you let her know that James is looking for her?"

"Sure." Ha! When hell fucking freezes over! I wouldn't hold my breath if I was that fucker.

When I was sure the coast was clear I bounded up towards the stairs to Bella's room.

I turned her doorknob but it was locked. "Bella..?" I called out through her door softly.

"Bella, it's me, would you open the door?"

No answer.

"Bella… please.."

Suddenly the door opened slowly to reveal Bella's beautiful face. She looked like a lost puppy and it took everything I had to not pick her up and take her away from this Twilight Zone we both lived in.

She stepped aside and allowed me to enter and closed the door shut. I couldn't help it, I all but grabbed her and held her close in my arms. I wanted her to know I would never let anyone harm her or hurt her in anyway.

"Are you ok, love?"

She sighed and she wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest. "I don't know what's going on or why Renee is doing this?"

I pulled slightly away from her so I can look her in the eye as I cradled her face in my hands. "Do you really think I would let her just marry you off to some fucker without a fight?!?"

She looked at me intently as if searching for something.

"Bella, for years since we left this place, I've wanted you back. Even as a little boy, from 3000 miles away, all I can think of was you. How much I wanted you, to be near you. Somehow I was drawn to you, even as young as I was. I didn't know what it is and still don't know why I'm feeling this way, but I do. And now that you're back in my life, feeling the way I'm feeling, I will do everything I can to be with you. But.. I need to know something…"

I softly squeezed the sides of her beautiful face running my thumb across her cheek as I looked deep in her eyes. _I need to know. I had to know._

Her gaze didn't falter as she waited for me to continue.

"Would you.. would you want to be with me? I.. I.. I mean, I know this is really crazy. I know it's hard. I'm scared about what I'm feeling… but I feel it and I can't stop. I don't want to stop. But I want you to know that I will fight for us and find whatever fucking way I can to be with you… Do you want me, Bella? Would you be with me?"

Fuck! I'm so scared shitless right now not knowing if she wants me too the way that I want her. _Please want me. Please want me. Fuck. Please want me._

Bella furrowed her brow and looked down. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it drumming loudly in my ears.

"I love you, Bella.." I whispered tilting her face up to look at me.

She finally looked straight into my eyes and a ghost of a smile grazed her lips. "Yes, Edward, I-I think.. I do… but you have to be patient with me as I'm scared too. Probably more than you…and I don't know how this.."

_Whew!_ I let out the breath I didn't even know I was fucking holding. I pulled her flushed to my body, holding her as close as I can.

"You don't have to say anymore, baby, that's all I need to know." I said softly not allowing her to finish as I kissed her forehead.

"I'll find a way… I'll figure it out.." I said with conviction. Barely in a whisper, not sure if I was saying it to her or to myself. "…we'll take it one day at a time."

We spent the rest of the night in the safe haven of her room, if only to avoid anymore encounters with looney Renee or in my case, any opportunity for pretty-boy to have any time with Bella. Lucky for us neither Renee nor James sought Bella out anymore for the rest of the night and we were left in peace.

2 days after the party, Renee, Esme, Bella and I were finally headed to Sea-Tac for our flight to New York. Charlie was to follow within a few days having to stay behind to finish off business related matters.

The flight was uneventful except for the fact that Bella and I were seated together a few rows down from Renee and Esme, giving us enough space away from their watchful eyes and allowing me to be able to hold Bella, in un-cousinly-way, as much as I want to.

Bella slept for the most part of the flight and I kept her in my arms throughout, either that or I had to have some form of skin to skin contact every and any chance I get. I couldn't keep my hands from touching her or keeping her close to me. _Jesus! I was starting to feel like a fucking pervert! _But it was driving me crazy if she's not close enough to me. _I was so close to bordering obsession, if I'm not already there, when it came to Bella and yet I couldn't make myself stop. _

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now approaching JFK International Airport and we will be landing shortly. In behalf of Delta Airlines, we would like to thank you for flying with us. We hope you have enjoyed your flight. Flight attendants, prepare for landing."

_We're home. Bella and I are finally home._

BPOV

"Bella, the movers are here. I'll put away your stuff in your room just let me know if there's anything or any special way you want me to put certain things away for you." Maria said as I heard the movers pulling up outside of our new Brownstone home.

"Thanks, Maria, just leave the boxes that says "personal" and I'll take care of those, the rest you can take care of. Is Renee home?"

"No, sweetie, I think she's having a lunch meeting with some of her friends. I'm sure she won't be home until late tonight. Aren't you and Edward supposed to be hanging out with friends today?"

We've been in NY for a few days now and although most of the furniture have already been delivered, our personal stuff from Forks is just now getting here.

We live in a gorgeous neighborhood in the upper Westside of Manhattan overlooking the river. Edward, who has never left my side since we arrived, lives next door in almost a similar Brownstone home.

Esme and Renee has been so busy decorating and picking out furniture and I have been trying to settle in my new home.

Today Edward is bringing me to hang out with his friends so we're meeting them for dinner and maybe go to a bar or lounge after.

"Yeah, he's introducing me to his friends. We're hanging out tonight." I said as I settled on the bar stool at the kitchen counter. Maria's cooking is one of my favorites and today she made me my favorite, Mushroom Ravioli. "Do you need me to prepare the salad?"

"No, honey, it's all done. But you can go ahead and take it out of the frig. Lunch is almost ready."

I stood up to go to the refrigerator and get the salad.

"Honey, I'm hooome!" I giggled. _Took him long enough. _I thought to myself.

"I don't know how that boy always knows when there's food around?" Maria chuckled shaking her head as Edward walked in to the kitchen.

"Mmm, Maria, that smells good! Why can't Susan be a good cook like you? Maybe you can teach her a thing or two?" Edward commented, wiggling his brow to Maria then turned to me and kissed me on the top of my head.

"Hello, baby.. you excited for tonight?"

"Hey you, yeah, looking forward to meeting your friends." I said grinning up at him as he settled himself on the seat next to me.

"Good, cuz they're excited to finally meet my beautiful girl." He said with a wink and a crooked smile, brushing some hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear.

I looked up then only to find Maria watching us intently with a faint smile on her lips. I looked at her pointedly while she gave each of us our plate of food but neither of us said anything.

Lunch was delicious and Edward and I decided to help out with the boxes and stuff that the movers were bringing in after we finished our meal.

Edward helped me put away some of my stuff in my room, leaving the bigger stuff for Maria to take care of in her insistence.

By the time we got done it was almost 7 o'clock and time to get ready for our night out. Edward headed for home to get ready and by 7:45 he was back in a faded distressed jeans that sits low on his waist and a navy blue button down shirt. His hair in its usual messy un-manageable style. He looks perfect.

"Ready, baby?"

I nodded. "Let me just grab my purse then we can go." I said as I grabbed my cell phone and purse from the coffee table.

I decided to dress comfortably in my low-rise distressed jeans, a soft satin and lace rose cami and a vintage cardigan with a broach embedded in rhinestones and diamonds. Instead of flats, I settled with a sexy strappy 2-inch heeled sandals, showing off my French-polished toe nails.

We stepped out of the house and once we were far enough away, Edward took my hand in his and pulled me closer. "You look so beautiful, Bella." He said softly and kissed me on my head, breathing in my scent in the process.

I smiled and squeezed his hand to show him I appreciated his compliment. He always made me feel so beautiful.

Edward hailed a cab when we got to the corner from my house and gave the driver the address.

It's what I love about NYC, cabs and subways are the way to go. I hardly ever needed to use my car since we got here unless we have to go outside of the city which at this point we haven't had a need to yet.

The night was nice, warm and perfect, the streets glittered as if embedded with diamonds and the city was in full swing on a Friday night.

The cab stopped in front of a small but trendy restaurant called Frank. The exterior was simple with outdoor seating area surrounded by white picket fence and covered by a canopy. The interior is very cozy with brick walls, dim lights and candles on each table. Inside the walls were decorated with picture frames and snap shots of people, which I can only assume are either the patrons' or the owner's photos. _I will have to ask Edward what all these photos were all about later._

As we turned around the corner, Edward headed towards 2 sets of tables pushed together with a group of people already sitting and chatting in it. There were 3 girls and 3 guys and once they saw Edward, they started waving us their way.

"Edward, sweetie! I've missed you!" A strawberry blonde girl practically jumped out of her seat to throw herself at him, I had to take a step back to give them room and to avoid her from knocking me over. _What the..?!?_

Edward turned to look at me apologizing with his eyes and when he noticed my frown, he quickly tried to push her away from him.

"U-uh, hey, Tanya.." Edward pried her arms off his neck as she desperately clung to him. It was obvious that Edward was uncomfortable with all the attention this stupid Tanya girl was giving him.

"Hey guys!" A big bear of a man greeted us reaching out to shake my hand, "I'm Emmett, you must be Edward's cousin?"

I turned to him and smiled, reaching out my hand to meet his, "Hi, Emmet, yes, it's Bella. Nice to meet you."

Edward then turned to me to take my arm, pulled out my chair and help me settle in my seat next to him.

"Everyone, this is Bella. Bella this is Tanya.." Sitting to his left. _Bitch. ".. _Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend…" He gestured towards the beautiful blonde girl sitting across from Tanya. "…that's Alice and her boyfriend, Peter.."

"Hi, Alice, Peter." I smiled at the tiny pixie-like girl and the blond guy next to her sitting across from me. "Hi, Bella! So nice to finally meet you." She said as she took my hand for a shake.

"Hi, Bella, welcome to NY, sugar." Peter greeted. His hazel eyes twinkling as he smiled showing off two dimples on his cheeks.

"… and this guy next to you is Jasper…"

I turned to my right to find a beautiful man with dirty-blonde shaggy hair. His stunning eyes a mixture of blue and gray, not quite blue but not quite gray either, I've never seen anything like it. His hair was somewhat of a mess as if he didn't have a care in the world to fix or comb it with one side tucked behind his ear, it makes him look so sexy and ragged, like a Marlboro with a twist of Abercombrie model combined. He was wearing a worn out, distressed jeans and long sleeved gray shirt that clung to his body just enough to show off his tight muscles. I couldn't help but blush and feel so insecure all of a sudden. _Dammit! Why do I have to sit next to this friggin beautiful man! Now I'll be stuck having to converse with him. Knowing me, I'd probably say something stupid or idiotic. _

"Hi, Jasper…" I said with a smile, "nice to meet you." I couldn't hold his gaze and had to look down before I lost it completely.

"Hi, beautiful.. I can't believe Edward has never brought you out here all this time?" Jasper reached out for my hand as he placed a soft kiss on my knuckles.

I couldn't help but giggle and look into his eyes feeling amused. _Whoa! Is he flirting with me? Me?!?! Holy cow!_

"Uh-hmm…" Edward cleared his throat and put his arm around my shoulder to get my attention. I turned to look at Edward and realized that he was glaring at Jasper.

Jasper just chuckled and let go of my hand but kept his body turned towards me the whole time.

I couldn't help but feel self-conscious and wished that I could switch seats with Emmet who was sitting on the other far corner of the table.

"Jasper. Don't." Edward said through gritted teeth. "What?!?" Jasper responded innocently.

_This is going to be a long night…_

I turned to look at Edward and squeezed his thigh discretely, willing him to behave.

"So Bella, how do you like NY so far?" Alice asked playfully.

"Oh, I love it. It's been great!" I responded, liking this Alice girl already.

"I'm sure you'll love living the city life, sugar." I looked at Peter and couldn't help but wonder if he and Jasper were related. They resemble each other with the exception of their hair. Jasper's is a bit longer reaching down almost to his jaw and Peter's is shorter, almost clean cut and slightly darker in shade. They both even have the same slight southern accent.

"I'm really looking forward to living here. Um, are you and Jasper related?" I asked, looking at both he and Jasper simultaneously.

Both boys chuckled. "You are very perceptive, darlin…" Jasper responded, "yes, we are, twins actually."

"Oh, I figured you two were related somehow."

"So, has Edward here taken you around yet?" I turned to Jasper again as he asked his question. "Uh, we actually haven't had the time yet since I'm still trying to get settled in."

He winked and gave me his version of the crooked smile. I couldn't help but notice how amazingly attractive Jasper is, the slight clef on his chin adding an extra bonus to his already beautiful face.

"That's great. Can I give you a tour of the city then, darlin? Maybe even see some Broadway shows?"

"Uh yeah, sure. I-I guess. That sounds like fun." I answered but it came out sounding more like a question. _You're such an idiot. What are you doing? Edward is not going to like that you're encouraging his friend, stupid. _

"Jasper, can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward said, again through clenched teeth, as he started to get up and gesturing Jasper to follow him.

Edward leaned over before getting up to whisper in my ear, "I'll be right back, baby. I'll miss you."

"Sure. I'll be back in a minute, darlin." Jasper addressing me then before following Edward.

"Ugh! Come the fuck on, man!" Edward sounding aggravated. I couldn't help but hold back a chuckle at Edward's reaction to Jasper's flirtations. _Now you're in trouble, stupid._

"Oohhh… Jazzy's in trouble…" Emmet sing-songed and egging on the already awkward situation, earning him a glare from Edward and giggles from the girls.

As the boys left the room, everyone started chatting, making me feel welcomed and getting on the topic of school and fun things to do in the city.

EPOV

I can't fucking believe this! My fucking bestfriend, hitting on Bella! I swear Jasper is like a brother to me, but he better know that Bella is off-fucking limits! Brother or no brother, I won't think twice kicking his Texan ass to fucking oblivion!

And here I thought I have enough problems with looney Renee's shit, now I have to deal with trying to keep my bestfriend away from my Bella too. That's right! My Bella, dammit! Why can't these fuckers just leave her the fuck alone?!? Life would be so much fucking easier if all these douche were away from Bella!

_What the hell?!? Is that Tanya's hand?_ I looked at Tanya pointedly then down to my thigh where her filthy paw were slowly making it's way up, squeezing it along the way.

I took her hand and pushed it away, trying so hard not to embarrass her. _Jesus, every fucking time this woman is with us, she just couldn't keep her hands to herself. _I don't fucking understand why the gang just won't tell her to stop tagging along?

Tanya and I dated a year ago, thinking it would be a good distraction, but instead I just made it worst for myself, earning me a fucking obsessed-stalker. When I finally ended it after a couple of dates, I thought that was it. But noooo, she just couldn't take the fucking hint and has become more aggressive!

I feel like a ping-pong ball trying to keep this bitch off of me on one side and keeping my fucking bestfriend away from Bella on the other. _Sigh._

"That's great. Can I give you a tour of the city then, darlin? Maybe even see some Broadway shows?" _What the..?!? Did he just asked Bella out on a fucking date?!? In front of everyone?!? In front of me?!? Hell no, Jasper!_

_Ugh! This bitch is going to get punched in the face if she doesn't stop touching me!_

I had to talk to this dude and set him the fuck straight _and_ _get away from Tanya the leech even if just for a moment_. This is not fucking happening!

I asked him to have a word with me and to follow me outside.

"What's up, brother?" Jasper asked sticking his hands in his pockets as we stepped outside of the restaurant. I ran my hands through my fuck-messed of a hair, trying to figure out a way to tell him to lay off Bella without sounding like a jealous possessive boyfriend but playing it off as an innocent over-protective cousin.

"Look, Jazz. Are you hitting on Bella?" _Well, duh! Of course he's fucking hitting on her!_

Jasper's eyes twinkled and smiled softly. He looked down as if he was contemplating on something. "Edward, she's amazingly beautiful and so fucking sweet, and.. well, yeah. I guess I am. I want to get to know her, man.." He looked up then as if gauging my reaction.

I took in a deep breath, trying to figure the fuck out how to tell him to stop his stupid notion of trying to get with Bella!

"Look, Edward, I understand she's your cousin, so don't worry. I'll be good. I promise." He added, like that would ease the shit out of me trying to beat his fucking slicked-oiled-Texan ass.

"Jazz, man, it's just… she's my cousin, bro. This is just..too complicated, you know?" I said trying to make my point across. _Shit, what the hell am I going to say, "Hey dude, lay the fuck off because she's taken already. I'm going to marry her and we're going to ride off into the sunset once I figure out how I can marry my own cousin." _Yeah right. That would go fucking well! Instead I opted with, "Tell you what…you can have anyone, even fucking Tanya, dude! Really, anyone but her."

Jasper guffawed, almost falling on his ass, "Are you fucking.. shitting.. me?!?.. Tan.. Tanya?!?" And more laughter… "Hell..no.." laughs, giggles even.. "No.. fucking… way, dude!".. more laughs, the motherfucker is actually giggling like a fucking pansy now and starting to attract attention. "Eww! Hell fucking no, bro!"

I shoved his shoulders willing him to stop his fucking giddiness. "Jasper.." I warned.

"No, man, I don't fuckin want Tanya! I want Bella! Are you crazy?!?..." Jasper tried to stop laughing… "Let me ask you this, if you weren't cousins with Bella and you have a choice between Tan-skank-ya or Bella-licious, who would you fucking pick?!?"

"Shut the fuck up, man! Don't call Bella that, asshole!" He was really trying to test my fucking patience now. _Only I get to call Bella that, jerkoff._

Finally he stopped laughing, squared his shoulders and looked me straight in the eye, "Edward, I love you like a brother, you know that, so you should know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our friendship. Bella will be safe with me. I won't do anything to hurt her. Like I said, I'll be good, a total gentleman… I really like her. There's just something special about her, besides, she already said yes."

Ugh! I wanted nothing more than to bitch-slap that smug smile off his fucking face!

He's fucking right though, she did said yes! _What the fuck was that all about, by the way?!? _

Trying to keep Tanya's filthy fucking paw off of me made me forget that she did fucking agree to him taking her out. _I will have to have a little talk with that girl. Did she hit her head or something and forgot about me all of a sudden? What the hell?!?_

Now what? What am I supposed to tell Jasper now? Bella agreeing to go out with him doesn't really give me enough room for argument. _Fucking fine then! _I will just have to find a way to come along with them. Ha! Take that! We'll see who's giggling when the three of us are all watching Billy Elliot with a fucking popcorn in my hand.

"Fine. Just remember who you're fucking dealing with. And keep. Your. Hands. To. Yourself. Got that, fucker?!? Otherwise, I won't think twice beating your oily-ass back to fucking Texas."

Jasper just chuckled and slapped me on the back as he pushed me back inside the restaurant. "Yeah, yeah. Stop with the threats already, I might piss my fucking pants."

_I can't fucking believe this is happening to me._

Time and time again, the difficulty of my situation with Bella keeps proving itself to me like a fucking tick that would never go away. I always knew how hard it would be for us, I knew boys from school will be flocking to her like flies but not once did I take into consideration that my own fucking bestfriend would be one of those flies, a horsefly is more fucking like it! Other boys I can handle, but Jasper? He will be the biggest bug I will most likely have to fucking swat away from Bella. Fuck!

I just pray that Bella won't fall for his Texan-fucking-charm like every fucking women do quite so often.

"Hey, darlin, miss me?"

_Oh come the fuck on!! _

"Jasper, knock it the fuck off already.." I said warningly in a low voice. Unfortunately, my menacing tone doesn't seem to be doing anything to the fucker as he tries to charm my love.

_This is going to be a long fucking night._


End file.
